The Middle Class Gentleman [21]
I have had suspicions for a long time, and I'm not a fool. This is very low of you, of a great lord, to lend a hand as you do to the follies of my husband. And you, Madame, for a great lady, it is neither fine nor honest of you to cause dissension in a household and to allow my husband to be in love with you.
DORIMENE: What is she trying to say with all this? Goodness Dorante! You have outdone yourself by exposing me to the absurd fantasies of this ridiculous woman.
DORANTE: Madame, wait! Madame, where are you going?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Madame! Monsieur Count, make excuses to her and try to bring her back. Ah! You impertinent creature, this is a fine way to act! You come and insult me in front of everybody, and you drive from me people of quality.
MADAME JOURDAIN: I laugh at their quality.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I don't know who holds me back, evil creature, from breaking your head with the remains of the repast you came to disrupt. (The table is removed).
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Leaving) I'm not concerned. These are my rights that I defend, and I'll have all wives on my side.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You do well to avoid my rage. She arrived very inopportunely. I was in the mood to say pretty things, and I had never felt so witty. What's that?
ACT FOUR
SCENE III (Covielle, disguised; Monsieur Jourdain, Lackey)
COVIELLE: Sir, I don't know if I have the honor to be known to you?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, sir.
COVIELLE: I saw you when you were no taller than that.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Me?
COVIELLE: Yes. You were the most beautiful child in the world, and all the ladies took you in their arms to kiss you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: To kiss me?
COVIELLE: Yes, I was a great friend of your late father.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Of my late father?
COVIELLE: Yes. He was a very honorable gentleman.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What did you say?
COVIELLE: I said that he was a very honorable gentleman.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: My father?
COVIELLE: Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You knew him very well?
COVIELLE: Assuredly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And you knew him as a gentleman?
COVIELLE: Without doubt.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Then I don't know what is going on!
COVIELLE: What?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There are some fools who want to tell me that he was a tradesman.
COVIELLE: Him, a tradesman! It's pure slander, he never was one. All that he did was to be very obliging, very ready to help; and, since he was a connoisseur in cloth, he went all over to choose them, had them brought to his house, and gave them to his friends for money.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm delighted to know you, so you can testify to the fact that my father was a gentleman.
COVIELLE: I'll attest to it before all the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You'll oblige me. What business brings you here?
COVIELLE: Since knowing your late father, honorable gentleman, as I told you, I have traveled through all the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Through all the world!
COVIELLE: Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I imagine it's a long way from here to there.
COVIELLE: Assuredly. I returned from all my long voyages only four days ago; and because of the interest I take in all that concerns you, I come to announce to you the best news in the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What?
COVIELLE: You know that the son of the Grand Turk is here?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Me? No.
COVIELLE: What! He has a very magnificent retinue; everybody goes to see it, and he has been received in this country as an important lord.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: By my faith! I didn't know that.
COVIELLE: The advantage to you in this is that he is in love with your daughter.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: The son of the Grand Turk?
COVIELLE: Yes. And he wants to be your son-in-law.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: My son-in-law, the son of the Grand Turk?
COVIELLE: The son of the Grand Turk your son-in-law. As I went to see him, and as I perfectly understand his language, he conversed with me; and, after some other discourse, he said to me, "Acciam croc soler ouch alla moustaph gidelum amanahem varahini oussere
DORIMENE: What is she trying to say with all this? Goodness Dorante! You have outdone yourself by exposing me to the absurd fantasies of this ridiculous woman.
DORANTE: Madame, wait! Madame, where are you going?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Madame! Monsieur Count, make excuses to her and try to bring her back. Ah! You impertinent creature, this is a fine way to act! You come and insult me in front of everybody, and you drive from me people of quality.
MADAME JOURDAIN: I laugh at their quality.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I don't know who holds me back, evil creature, from breaking your head with the remains of the repast you came to disrupt. (The table is removed).
MADAME JOURDAIN: (Leaving) I'm not concerned. These are my rights that I defend, and I'll have all wives on my side.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You do well to avoid my rage. She arrived very inopportunely. I was in the mood to say pretty things, and I had never felt so witty. What's that?
ACT FOUR
SCENE III (Covielle, disguised; Monsieur Jourdain, Lackey)
COVIELLE: Sir, I don't know if I have the honor to be known to you?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: No, sir.
COVIELLE: I saw you when you were no taller than that.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Me?
COVIELLE: Yes. You were the most beautiful child in the world, and all the ladies took you in their arms to kiss you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: To kiss me?
COVIELLE: Yes, I was a great friend of your late father.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Of my late father?
COVIELLE: Yes. He was a very honorable gentleman.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What did you say?
COVIELLE: I said that he was a very honorable gentleman.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: My father?
COVIELLE: Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You knew him very well?
COVIELLE: Assuredly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: And you knew him as a gentleman?
COVIELLE: Without doubt.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Then I don't know what is going on!
COVIELLE: What?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: There are some fools who want to tell me that he was a tradesman.
COVIELLE: Him, a tradesman! It's pure slander, he never was one. All that he did was to be very obliging, very ready to help; and, since he was a connoisseur in cloth, he went all over to choose them, had them brought to his house, and gave them to his friends for money.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm delighted to know you, so you can testify to the fact that my father was a gentleman.
COVIELLE: I'll attest to it before all the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You'll oblige me. What business brings you here?
COVIELLE: Since knowing your late father, honorable gentleman, as I told you, I have traveled through all the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Through all the world!
COVIELLE: Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I imagine it's a long way from here to there.
COVIELLE: Assuredly. I returned from all my long voyages only four days ago; and because of the interest I take in all that concerns you, I come to announce to you the best news in the world.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What?
COVIELLE: You know that the son of the Grand Turk is here?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Me? No.
COVIELLE: What! He has a very magnificent retinue; everybody goes to see it, and he has been received in this country as an important lord.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: By my faith! I didn't know that.
COVIELLE: The advantage to you in this is that he is in love with your daughter.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: The son of the Grand Turk?
COVIELLE: Yes. And he wants to be your son-in-law.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: My son-in-law, the son of the Grand Turk?
COVIELLE: The son of the Grand Turk your son-in-law. As I went to see him, and as I perfectly understand his language, he conversed with me; and, after some other discourse, he said to me, "Acciam croc soler ouch alla moustaph gidelum amanahem varahini oussere