The Naked and the Dead - Norman Mailer [141]
That's tellin' him, the man next to Gallagher says.
Yeah, Wat's okay. Gallagher feels a pleasurable fury forming in him.
Who takes away your jobs, who tries to sneak up on your wives and your daughters and even your mothers 'cause they wouldn't stop at nothing, who's out to get YOU and YOU 'cause you ain't a Red and a Jew, and you don' wanta bow down before a filthy goddam no-good Communist who don't respect the Lord's name, and would stop at nothing.
Let's kill them! Gallagher shrieks. He is shaking with excitement.
That's it, men, we're gonna clean up on 'em, after the war we're really gonna have an organization, I got telegrams here from our com-pat-riots, patriots as well as friends, and they're all stickin' with us.
You're all in on the ground floor, men, and those of ya that are goin' into the Army gotta learn to use your weapons so that afterward. . . afterward. . . You get the idea, men. We ain't licked, we're gettin' bigger all the time.
When the meeting is over, Gallagher drifts into a bar. The dry throat, the painful tension in his chest. As he drinks, his rage diffuses and he grows sullen and bitter.
They're always cheatin' ya at the last minute, he says to the man beside him. They had come out of the meeting together. It's a plot.
That's all it is, it's a goddam mother-fuggin plot, and they ain't gonna break me, I'm gonna get out on top.
On the way home he slips in a puddle, and wets his pant leg up to his hip. Fug you, he roars at the pavement. Plot, always fuggin a guy, well, you ain't gonna get me.
He lurches into his flat, and pitches off his overcoat. His nose is bitter. He sneezes raspingly, and swears to himself.
Mary wakes up in her chair, and looks at him. You're all wet.
That all you got to say? I'm. . . I'm. . . what the hell do you know about it?
Roy, every time you come back you're like this.
Trying to keep a man down, all you're interested in is the goddam dough I bring back, well, I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE DOUGH YOU WANT.
Roy, don't talk to me like that. Her lip wavers.
Staaart crying, go ahead, staaart crying, I'm on to you.
I'm going to bed.
C'mere.
Roy, I'm not going to hold it against you, I don't know what's the matter with you, but there's something in you I just don't understand, what do you want of me?
Lea' me alone.
Oh, Roy, you're wet, take off your pants, honey, why do you drink, it always makes you so bitter, I've been praying for you, honest I have.
Oh, lea' me alone. He sits by himself for a few minutes staring at the lace doily on the table. Aaah, I don' know, I don' know.
What's in it for a guy?
Work tomorrow.
(He would defend the lady in the lavender dress with his sword.)
He fell asleep in the chair, and in the morning he had a cold.
10
Gallagher's numbness continued. In the days that followed the news of Mary's death he worked furiously on the road, shoveling without pause in the drainage ditches, and chopping down tree after tree whenever they had to lay a corduroy. He would rarely halt in the breaks they were given every hour, and at night he would eat his supper alone and curl into his blankets, sleeping exhaustedly with his knees near his chin. Wilson would hear him shuddering in the middle of the night, and would throw his blanket over him, clucking to himself at the misery Gallagher was undergoing. Gallagher showed no sign of his grief except that he became even leaner and his eyes and eyelids were swollen as if he had been on a long drinking bout or had played poker for forty-eight hours at a stretch.
The men tried to feel sorry for him, but the event had given a variation to the monotonous sweep of their days on the road. For a short time they sustained a quiet compassion when he was near and spoke in soft voices, uncomfortable in his presence. They ended by feeling merely uncomfortable and were resentful when he sat by them, for it inhibited their speech and made them acutely uneasy. Red felt a little shame and brooded over it one night on guard, deciding there was nothing he could do about it. It's tough, but