The Naughty List Bundle - Kylie Adams [66]
“There was no one else,” he murmured, “and I couldn’t leave her there alone. So I went. And after they handed me Casey,Ashley told me she was putting him up for adoption.”
He shook his head, once again feeling the utter disbelief. After holding Casey for just a few short hours, he knew he wouldn’t let him go. It wasn’t the baby’s fault his mother had been discontent in her marriage, and while wonderful adoptions existed, he wouldn’t put it to the chance.
He pulled away from Honey and went to stare blindly at a photo of Casey as a toddler. In a hoarse tone, he admitted, “I signed the birth certificate, claiming him as my own, and dared her to fight me on it.” His throat felt tight, and he swallowed hard. “We’re not without influence here. My family has been a force since my father’s days, and Ashley knew in a battle she didn’t stand a chance. She hadn’t wanted Casey, and I damn sure did, so she reluctantly agreed. For awhile, she was bitter about it. I don’t know who all she complained to, but everyone around here knew the whole private story within days. They knew, but they didn’t dare say anything.”
Honey didn’t approach him this time. She kept her distance and spoke in a whisper. “Where’s his mother now?”
“I’m not sure. She got ostracized by the town, not because of me, because I swear I tried to make it easy on her. But she was bitter and that bitterness set everyone against her. She moved away, and last I heard, she’d remarried and moved to England. That was years ago. Casey knows the truth, and I’ve tried to help him understand her and her decisions. And my own.”
“You feel responsible.”
He turned to face her. “I can’t excuse myself from it, Honey. I played a big part in her actions. She resented my sense of obligation to others, and I resented her interference in my life. I like taking care of people, and I like being a doctor, yet that’s what drove her away. She wanted more of my time, and I didn’t want to give it to her, not if it meant taking away from my family and the community.”
“And you don’t ever want a wife to…interfere that way again?”
“I don’t want to run the risk of another scandal. I haven’t changed.”
Her smile was gentle as she crossed the floor and hugged herself up against him. “There’s no reason you should. You accept the influence of your name, but also the responsibility of it, like a liege lord, and you handle that responsibility well. If Ashley didn’t understand, it’s not your fault.”
“She was my wife.”
“She was also a grown woman who made her own terrible decisions. I can only imagine how you felt, with everyone knowing the truth, but I’m sure no one blames you.”
“I blame myself.”
She burrowed against him, her small body pressed tight to his own. Damn, but he wanted her.
All his life he’d been surrounded by family and neighbors and friends. That wouldn’t change, but he knew when Honey left, he’d feel alone. And for the first time in his life he felt vulnerable, a feeling he instinctively fought against.
He wrapped his fist in her hair and turned her face up for his kiss. She tried to dodge his mouth, wanting to talk, to instruct him on his sense of obligation, but he wouldn’t allow it. With a low growl, he held her closer and roughly took her mouth, pushing his tongue inside, stemming any protest she might make.
Just as she always did, Honey kissed him back with equal enthusiasm. Her hands clutched his shirt, and she went on her tiptoes to seal the space between them.
Sawyer groaned. He pulled his mouth free and kissed her throat, her chin. “I hate feeling like this,” he said, meaning the way his need for her consumed him beyond reason. There were so many other things to consider right now, and all he wanted to do was get inside her.
Honey pressed her fingers to his mouth, and though she smiled, her eyes looked damp.