The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [17]
Dude, I hear you. And I understand. I wouldn’t want to watch me instead of Joel McHale either. Sorry it happened, but I’m sure it was just a one-time thing.
Manhugs,
Chris
What I got back was a sheepish response:
Man, I’m sorry I went off like that. Thanks for getting back to me. I’ll give your show a shot. Hope we’re cool.
The trick was that he reacted emotionally in the moment—like your brain tends to—but once he felt he was being heard and that he was being taken seriously, he backed down. This is how it can work with your brain. When it angrily demands that you do something that you know isn’t good for you, you can literally say to yourself, “I hear you. I get what you’re saying. But what you’re asking of me will cause more damage for [this, this, and this reason], and I’m not going to do it.” I have actually felt my rage drain out of my head, like a snake retreating into its hole. The first time you do this, I promise you will feel a sense of lightness and liberation. Strength isn’t about the attack. True strength is often the ability to NOT follow every impulse. “Act” don’t “react.” Make sensible choices rather than letting your emotions fling you around like a rodeo lariat.
CHARACTERCIZE
What are your emotional triggers?
What are some things your brain tells you to do that you know are damaging?
What’s a good response to sidestep those orders?
RAGE-MUNICATION
NEVER EMAIL, TEXT, TWEET or CALL people while experiencing negative emotions! These are almost ALWAYS the communications you wish you could ⌘-Z (CTRL-Z for PC-tizens). When you find your internal juices boiling up to your neck and face, this is exactly the time NOT to type an email. When your anger flares up, your stupid takes over. The amygdalae, reptilian brain structures that regulate emotion (which I also call “lizard almonds” because of their function and shape), take over your higher brain functions. You aren’t making awesome choices at this point because you are in animal defense mechanism mode. If you give into it, you are likely to look around after you regain composure to see a trail of broken objects and friendships that you will vigorously begin scrambling to tape back together while shouting, “Lizard almonds, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???” My advice is immediately walk away. Change your environment. Go in another room, walk around the block. Think of it as a chemical tide that needs a few minutes to ebb back down to its dank lair at the base of your brain. If you need to, say something to yourself like, “Oh, lizard almonds! Won’t you EVER learn?! Now, back to the cave with you, or I’ll make you stare at yawning kitty videos for a half hour!” This is ridiculous, but may actually pull you out of your anger long enough to realize it.
BREAKING THROUGH “THE WALL”
Everything’s going GREAT! Your workflow is pouring out of your fingers and orifices with the fluidity of the waterfall in the opening credits of Fantasy Island. You’re moving ever swifter toward the completion of your goal and then, quite suddenly, ka-SMASH! Seemingly out of nowhere a wall appears. You hit it, face first, and fall backward, your eyes filling with salty pools and your nose flooding with the scent of pain. You’re stuck. The previously open field of creativity has now turned into a labyrinth of inactivity. If you could just punch through that wall! But each step toward it becomes increasingly more labored, like the running-through-tar feeling you get in a dream.
Every creative person everywhere knows “The Wall.” It’s that mental roadblock that seizes up your thoughts and convinces you that you have absolutely nothing to contribute. There