The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [24]
Using the taxi example, if there were tons of them readily available I would take my time and casually grab whichever one happened to suit me. With only one or even an absence of taxis altogether, I felt desperate and needy. That one damned cab suddenly became very important because I believed it to be my only option for moving toward what I wanted. Next comes the what-if game: What if I can’t find another one? What if I can’t get to where I’m going? The what-if game is largely pointless and stems from panic and irrational fear, i.e., Lizard T. Brainworth. How many what-if worst-case scenarios actually come true? My guess is almost none of them.
“Well, how do I get options if they don’t seem apparent?” might be your next question if you bothered to read this far. It’s simple: Strive for excellence in something you love. When you commit yourself to a higher principle of excellence, there will always be at least one other option for you to fall back on.
Writers, write a thousand more words a day even if you don’t feel like it.
Bassoonists, practice an extra hour when you’re metacarpals are tired.
Roboticists, add a prehensile tail to your robot to make him creepier.
Always try to think BIG PICTURE. How can you contribute more of your talents to the world? Learning, planning, and contribution will fill you with confidence because on a biological level being a contributor lets the world know that you have worthy genes! And when you’re learning how to do something you enjoy and ultimately do well, that also becomes mental currency that you can use as armor for a variety of seemingly unrelated situations; and therein lies the cool mind sorcery of it all: The options you create DO NOT have to relate to the situations in which you want to be confident. You don’t have to be an ace with the ladies to pick up more ladies—you can excel at something entirely different and still get the action you so richly deserve. The key is for you to feel safe and comfortable.
Options ∙ Safety ∙ Comfort ∙ Confidence
For me, when I have a run of particularly good stand-up shows, I feel like I have that as a cushion no matter how I get rejected anywhere else. The mere option of being able to do comedy fuels my confidence in virtually every other aspect of my life whether it be professional or social. Why is this important? Because the more confidence you are able to cram into your heart, the more you attract good stuff in life. It’s kind of a cold economy of nature to reward those who don’t seem to need it. I think it stems from the idea that if an organism is strong, it’s worthy of passing on its genes. If said organism is desperate and needy, it must be flawed and its spreading must be limited.
So find a thing! Learn it, like it, live it. Give yourself the gift of options. Then bask in the warming cascade of feeling comfortable in your own skin and the good things that await you! Exclamation points!!!!
CHARACTERCIZE
Write down three things you’re good at.
Think of a situation in which you felt desperate and write down at least two options you might have had. If you can’t come up with any, stop feeling bad about it! There was nothing else you could do.
HI, ANXIETY!
Yay! The dark side of being turbo-self-aware and hyperimagi-native! Anxiety is your brain turning on you and trying to deconstruct itself. Generalized anxiety is more of a slow burn, where you might feel the dark butt of the universe just sitting on your brain. You might feel hopelessness, dread, or the sense that you might die young. Anxiety is the Great Mimicker and can manifest itself in roughly a hundred different other symptoms, each one designed to trick you into thinking something else is physically wrong with you. It’s a bloodthirsty parasite, as the anxiety it seeds creates more anxiety, forming an endless loop of awfulness that sustains