The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [30]
The next very logical question in your overachieving brain would be: How did I get over most of these fearstuffs? (I say “most” because I still am unwilling to test the boundaries of being buried alive.) It started with a simple decision. I absolutely had to get over them, or I could enjoy a life of self-imposed Castaway-ism of loneliness in my dwelling, foraging for crumbs under my stove and carrying on my love/hate relationship with a face-painted volleyball. (Though I would have been smart enough to draw a sex opening on Wilson.) This process was basically two-fold: research and reconditioning. I felt it was important to learn about the concept of fear and the retraining of conditioned responses.
Fortunately, I stumbled across an article in Psychology Today that changed my understanding of fear forever. The article stated that when it comes to irrational fear (worst-case scenario stuff) people aren’t afraid of things . . . they’re afraid of DREAD. We paint ourselves into these nightmare scenarios and allow our brains to run the horror program. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” is pretty on the nose. The piece went on to explain that things people really SHOULD be more afraid of, like diet-induced heart attacks, are infinitely more common than plane crashes, but dropping dead doesn’t strike the same chord in our brain as a dramatic demise. The message of this article streamlined all of my fears into one manageable mass. I wasn’t afraid of a bunch of different crap, I was afraid of ONE THING. Dread. And furthermore, all of that different crap was irrational and unlikely to ever happen. This knowledge alone was instantly comforting. I immediately began working to ebb the dread tide.
BYE, ANXIETY!
Whether it’s the fast burn of panic, the slow burn of depression, dread, and overall hopelessness, or some vibrant cocktail of both, it’s fixable. I’m not going to sit here and say, “Just think about bunnies!” I would recommend that you get into a therapy program and work with a professional. There is stuff a-brewin’ in you and you need to have someone help you pull it out. PLEASE don’t worry about your worrying. It is not very likely that “this is just your life” from now on. You just have to seize control and work through it. And you absofuckinglutely can.
CHARACTERCIZE
Write down all of the things you are afraid of.
See if there’s a connection.
See if you really still feel the fear about each one.
Write this down and read it when you’re in panic mode: “Hey! Wiener! You’re just having a panic attack! Count to twenty while breathing slowly! YOU ARE FINE.”
Then add below it “Baaaaaaaaaaalls!” because that’s funny to see written down.
FUN SIDE NOTE!
I am not a professional therapist. I am just a guy who tends to get this delightful brand of brain jolts, so I am merely sharing what I have learned for myself through trial, error, countless hours of therapy, and autodidactic research. Do not only listen to what I have said here. There are people out there who have earned the word “doctor” in front of their name. I do not possess this salutation, mainly because I was hosting Singled Out instead of getting a PhD. If you need to know the difference between “round and firmy” or “short and squirmy,” I am pretty skilled in those matters and would feel much more confident counseling you one-on-one as such. I guess I am also a “doctor” of showing viral videos where people get hit in the nards on Web Soup, but that’s really only an honorary title at this point.
DOCTOR XAVIERING YOUR MIND
Charles Xavier, founder and leader of the X-Men, has the ability to dig around in people’s minds and manipulate them to do his bidding. The concept of mind manipulation has long been a Nerd fave, dating back to teen years when the fantasy of getting to see boobs all the time (which is what a teen mind mutant would naturally use it for) populated many a young fantasy. The truth is, you DO have this ability, but for your own mind. I know! I know! It’d be more fun to control other people. However,