The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [82]
Fortunately, failure has a way of teaching valuable lessons.
Q: So where did I go wrong?
A: I never should have taken the project on to begin with.
I knew deep down that I was too busy to give it the attention it deserved, but the fat guy that is my ego sat right down on those doubts to silence their warning yaps. As a freelancer, it’s very difficult for me to say no to things. Not only do I enjoy new challenges but there seems to be a script running in the root file system of my brain that says the only way to succeed is to always take on everything—after all, undertaking any work project is going to help get me the career I want, right??? I say no! Part of good time management involves not trying to force more variables into your time equation in the first place. Also I think Nerds have comic-book-inspired “hero syndrome,” where we want to swoop in to the rescue so people like us can then tell other people, “Hey, that dude/lady is RAAAAAAD!” Then everyone high-fives you. Then Rodney Dangerfield shouts, “We’re all gonna get laid!” and Kenny Loggins’s “I’m Alright” plays as a gopher starts dancing. Needlesstosay, this is fallacious.
Taking on too much not only stresses you out more but eventually dips your energy scales into Diminishing Returns Land, a land where failure dragons swoop in and burn all the crops of your labor, and the saline content of the water supply causes your kidneys to harden because you are drinking from RIVERS OF YOUR OWN TEARS. In order for projects to help you flourish, you need to be the best “you” when doing them, and a frazzled you produces frazzled results across the board.
The trick to avoiding Diminishing Returns Land (again, this is an awful place: termites of impotency devour your chewy productivity centers from the inside out) is to stifle (or at least, ignore) the knee-jerk response to try to please everyone. When presented with a project, ask these three questions:
1. Is this in the wheelhouse of things I normally do?
NO!—Not a deal breaker, but definitely see questions 2 and 3.
YES!—Well, that’s a start.
2. Would taking on this project REALLY change my life?
EH, NOT SO MUCH—The longer I live the more I find that it’s rare that any one thing or job will change your life. Real, long-term success seems to be the aggregate sum of your tapestry of work.
DAMN SKIPPY!—You will know on a deep level if you’re ultimately being offered the keys to a pile of success and better-looking sex mates.
3. As objectively as possible, do I really have the time to give this project the attention it deserves?
NEIN!—Then why are we still talking to ourselves about this? Do we have multiple personality disorder? Maybe we do . . . oh, shut up. No, YOU shut up!
YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!—Then spread your wings and fly! Fly free, you delicious bastard!
I know, I know . . . we’re all still basting in the affirmation juices of the 2008 film Yes Man (OK, I never saw it), but learning to be honest with people and say, “I would really love to take this on, but I’m afraid my current workload wouldn’t provide me the time and energy to do your project the justice it deserves,” will not only spare you the self-flagellation usually reserved for religious types but the job-offerers will also appreciate your sparing them a failure that could also affect their jobs. This also goes for the pro bono work that many of us freelancers do for our friends. It’s good to help out others, but not at the expense of your mental health and career. You can use the aforementioned line. If they get mad at you anyway, well, then they’re jagoffs. The other tasty side benefit to turning down work is that it makes you more attractive . Just like dating, people want what