The New Eve - Lewis Robert [11]
If these were her hopes, they were cruelly crushed. Mr. Cady was unable to see past his own grief and prejudice. “Oh, you should have been a boy!” was all the paternal tenderness he could muster.2
Elizabeth's sense of shame and humiliation at being a girl eventually created in her a powerful counteraction. Much of her subsequent life was spent attacking this warped valuation of her parents, which she saw everywhere. Everything, including the church and the Christian faith, felt her passion and biting wrath. “The whole history of mankind,” she said, “is a history of calculated, organized tyranny over women.”3 That's a wound speaking, not reality. But as her worldview, it powerfully shaped her life.
Today many women choose a life for themselves from woundedness. So as not to be taken advantage of, or abandoned the way Mom was, they insulate themselves from vulnerability through the power of a career. Self-sufficiency becomes their driving worldview. So as not to be dominated by a man the way Dad did Mom, they angrily reject their church and the Bible's teaching on male headship and become hard and demanding. Or to feel safe, they find a man they can dominate. To escape the pain of their parents' marriage, some women choose to use men and shun marriage. Or they reject men altogether and seek intimacy in the company of other women. Some women try to resolve the love deficit they suffered with their fathers by giving themselves to any man who shows interest. Others become superachievers in an attempt to overcome the stigmas of poverty, racism, and other social limitations they experienced in childhood. On and on I could go, but the point is this: a woman's response to past hurts can become her primary worldview, driving many of her life choices.
The “Whatever's-In” Worldview
The Bible speaks about this mind-set more than any other. Actually, it warns women about adopting this take on life. Paul said, “Do not be conformed to this world” (Rom. 12:2a). That's because despite the world's momentary popularity and the power of acceptance that goes with it (which we crave), being trendy in your lifestyle and mind-set rarely has long-standing value. Its power is in the moment. Unfortunately, whatever it offers you as in for today is usually out by tomorrow. And as its shine fades, it leaves you to deal with the consequences, either nagging emptiness or the serious pain of regret. And yet this is the worldview of choice for most people. Rather than think deeply or long-term about life, it feels right to go with the flow of culture and fit in, regardless of future costs.
Few women represent this worldview better than Jane Fonda. If you are in your twenties, you may identify Fonda only with movies. But her “life du jour” spans decades. In the late ’60s during the Vietnam War, Jane teamed up with her draft-card-burning boyfriend, Tom Hayden (whom she later married), and joined the increasingly popular antiwar movement sweeping across America at the time. She soon made a name for herself as “Hanoi Jane.” Magazine covers, newspaper headlines, TV reports—Fonda was at the forefront and in the spotlight.
Then times changed, and the war ended. So in the ’70s Fonda found a new identity. She shifted her focus and added her voice to the growing women's movement. She threw away her bra and her short-term husband and became an empowered feminist.
Then came the ’80s when fitness and the hard body took center stage. Jane once again changed with the times. She shed her business suit for a leotard. She pumped her fists for exercise rather than protest and starred in Jane Fonda's Workout, the top-grossing video of all time.
But times changed again. You can't be a hard body forever. Besides, in the roaring ’90s rich was the new in. And one of the richest men on the planet was Ted Turner with his CNN empire. So Jane followed the moment yet again and set off in a new direction. “Once again I seemed to have become someone new