The New Eve - Lewis Robert [13]
It's easy to have this blind spot. I know because I've fallen prey to it firsthand. I once brought in a highly regarded consultant to help me with a number of serious problems I was having in leading our church. For several hours I poured out to him my frustrations with staff, organization, time demands, directional challenges, and personal concerns. Honestly, I was really hurting. From time to time, he would ask probing questions to aid his understanding of my situation.
Eventually, I finished venting my list of nagging problems. I was eager to hear what ideas he would offer to help untie me from these leadership knots. Pen in hand, I prepared to take notes.
After a long pause he looked at me and said, “Robert, you're tired.” I quickly acknowledged that but waited for him to get down to real answers for solving my predicament.
But that was his answer.
With laserlike insight, he rightly named the issue behind all my troubles. And as the day went on, he helped me see that most of my current undoing was either exaggerated or self-inflicted because of exhaustion. The reason I was so overwhelmed and confused was simply because I was out of gas. “Fatigue makes cowards of us all,” he said. “What you need is some time off to recharge your batteries and put life back into perspective.”
At that moment time off was the last thing I thought I needed. But his advice proved to be on target. And by heeding his wise counsel and addressing this issue—not working harder or smarter on the problems resulting from it—I found the real leadership help I needed to get my life back together.
When I talk to women about their personal problems, I often get an earful. And that's a good thing. Unlike men, women on the whole are much more transparent and open about the things that trouble and concern them. Along with speaking to women personally, I've also had the opportunity to formally survey hundreds of women across our country. These surveys have helped me better identify and understand the specific problems women say they are facing.
On the next page I've provided for you a detailed list of the struggles these women have told me. Let me suggest that you pause at this point and take your time looking this list over. Grab a pen or pencil and circle the hot phrases you can personally identify with. After you've completed this, we'll continue.
Problems Women Say They Struggle With
— Circle those that apply to you. —
The words you've just circled are your problems. But if I can play counselor for a moment, let me suggest that most of these problems, even as painful as some of them are, are not the source of your troubles. Most of what you and other women struggle with today actually springs from five volatile issues that often remain open and unresolved. And by remaining unresolved, they infect life with confusion and bad decision making. On the other hand, when these issues are addressed with biblical convictions (which we will do beginning in chap. 4), many of the problems flowing from them naturally work themselves out or can be successfully dealt with.
So what are the issues behind many of the problems swirling around and within the lives of women today? Let's take a look.
Issue 1: An Ever-Evolving Femininity
What does it mean to be a woman today? You would think such a basic question would be easy to answer. Think again. No commonly accepted answer exists. Certainly not one with biblical roots. Even the images woman brings to mind have morphed significantly over the last generation. Fifty years ago when you heard this word, you were more than likely to associate it with words like soft, sensitive, submissive, nurturing, pretty,