The New Eve - Lewis Robert [44]
You'll also need to be careful with your finances. Yes, this is a theme for every season of life. But here it raises a huge question: Will you continue to work? Full-time? Part-time? What about scaling back? Is that possible? Or will you be transitioning at this point from two incomes to one? This can be a time of courageous faith or real tension, especially if you're conflicted about whether you should or can stay at home while the kids are young. But no matter what you decide, it needs to be a team decision between you and your husband that's made after careful consideration of God's Word, your unique situation, and what's best for your children.
Married with Grade-Schoolers
This is an odd time for you as a woman. In some ways you feel you're able to ratchet down your commitment level. No more diapers. You're sleeping again. The kids can bathe and dress themselves just fine. You breathe a little easier.
Or do you?
The fact is, you might find yourself ramping up your efforts as never before. You run the kids from school to soccer to baseball to tutoring to the overnighter at the Joneses' place. You do parties, graduations, and school plays. If you're like my wife when our kids were in school, all this adds up to twenty-five thousand miles a year on the minivan. That's enough to circle the earth!
During this season many moms who are working begin to feel, as never before, that they're missing special moments in their children's lives. There's simply not enough time. Other mothers begin to entertain the idea of going back to work as their children grow older. But how much work? The truth is, a career mixes hard with the needs of a husband and school-age kids. There are no easy answers or formulas. Therefore, it is important in this season constantly to assess the work-home balance. Am I being a helper to my husband? Does he feel my support? My love? Are my children getting the love and attention they need from me? Will they feel I was there for them?
Perhaps the best and easiest way to get answers to these questions is to ask your family directly. If you do this in a sincere and humble way, you'll probably get honest feedback. From their input you can then choose to adjust or stay the course.
Financially, both income and expenses will probably keep rising in this season. You'll find it's extremely easy to spend more money than you make and nearly impossible to save too much. It was at this time that Sherard and I decided to impose the 10-10-80 rule. That is, save 10 percent, give away 10 percent, and spend the rest (avoiding major debt). If that sounds like a simple financial plan, it was. But at times it was also agonizingly hard to implement. We watched friends buy and do things that were within the reach of our credit cards. But we resisted using them. We drove preowned cars until there was no life left in them. Many of the upgrades on our home, we did ourselves. It wasn't that we lived as Spartans. Far from it. We enjoyed life. But it was a financially disciplined life.
We began to see the real fruit of our 10-10-80 rule after about seventeen years. That's right—seventeen years! One day I looked at my financial-investment account and saw that I had already put enough money away to send three of my four children to college. I even had a small retirement account too. All because at age twenty-seven Sherard and I made some firm financial choices that were hard at the time. (You might want to start even earlier.) Yes, we missed out on a few things, but over time we gained a whole lot more.
How are you and your husband dealing with your finances in this season of life? If you're wise, you will get serious now about saving for college and retirement.
Finally, as your children move through their school years, their unique personalities and talents should become more and more apparent. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you as a parent to both recognize and honor who your child is and what gifts and abilities