The Old Bachelor [11]
near it when you and Bellmour meet. You don't know that you dreamt of Bellmour last night, and called him aloud in your sleep.
BELIN. Pish, I can't help dreaming of the devil sometimes; would you from thence infer I love him?
ARAM. But that's not all; you caught me in your arms when you named him, and pressed me to your bosom. Sure, if I had not pinched you until you waked, you had stifled me with kisses.
BELIN. O barbarous aspersion!
ARAM. No aspersion, cousin, we are alone. Nay, I can tell you more.
BELIN. I deny it all.
ARAM. What, before you hear it?
BELIN. My denial is premeditated like your malice. Lard, cousin, you talk oddly. Whatever the matter is, O my Sol, I'm afraid you'll follow evil courses.
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha, this is pleasant.
BELIN. You may laugh, but -
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha!
BELIN. You think the malicious grin becomes you. The devil take Bellmour. Why do you tell me of him?
ARAM. Oh, is it come out? Now you are angry, I am sure you love him. I tell nobody else, cousin. I have not betrayed you yet.
BELIN. Prithee tell it all the world; it's false.
ARAM. Come, then, kiss and friends.
BELIN. Pish.
ARAM. Prithee don't be so peevish.
BELIN. Prithee don't be so impertinent. Betty!
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha!
BETTY. Did your ladyship call, madam?
BELIN. Get my hoods and tippet, and bid the footman call a chair.
ARAM. I hope you are not going out in dudgeon, cousin.
SCENE IV.
[To them] FOOTMAN.
FOOT. Madam, there are -
BELIN. Is there a chair?
FOOT. No, madam, there are Mr. Bellmour and Mr. Vainlove to wait upon your ladyship.
ARAM. Are they below?
FOOT. No, madam, they sent before, to know if you were at home.
BELIN. The visit's to you, cousin; I suppose I am at my liberty.
ARAM. Be ready to show 'em up.
SCENE V.
[To them] BETTY, with Hoods and Looking-glass.
I can't tell, cousin; I believe we are equally concerned. But if you continue your humour, it won't be very entertaining. (I know she'd fain be persuaded to stay.) [Aside.]
BELIN. I shall oblige you, in leaving you to the full and free enjoyment of that conversation you admire.
BELIN. Let me see; hold the glass. Lard, I look wretchedly to- day!
ARAM. Betty, why don't you help my cousin? [Putting on her hoods.]
BELIN. Hold off your fists, and see that he gets a chair with a high roof, or a very low seat. Stay, come back here, you Mrs. Fidget--you are so ready to go to the footman. Here, take 'em all again, my mind's changed; I won't go.
SCENE VI.
ARAMINTA, BELINDA.
ARAM. So, this I expected. You won't oblige me, then, cousin, and let me have all the company to myself?
BELIN. No; upon deliberation, I have too much charity to trust you to yourself. The devil watches all opportunities; and in this favourable disposition of your mind, heaven knows how far you may be tempted: I am tender of your reputation.
ARAM. I am obliged to you. But who's malicious now, Belinda?
BELIN. Not I; witness my heart, I stay out of pure affection.
ARAM. In my conscience I believe you.
SCENE VII.
[To them] VAINLOVE, BELLMOUR, FOOTMAN.
BELL. So, fortune be praised! To find you both within, ladies, is -
ARAM. No miracle, I hope.
BELL. Not o' your side, madam, I confess. But my tyrant there and I, are two buckets that can never come together.
BELIN. Nor are ever like. Yet we often meet and clash.
BELL. How never like! marry, Hymen forbid. But this it is to run so extravagantly in debt; I have laid out such a world of love in your service, that you think you can never be able to pay me all. So shun me for the same reason that you would a dun.
BELIN. Ay, on my conscience, and the most impertinent and troublesome of duns--a dun for money will be quiet, when he sees his debtor has not wherewithal. But a dun for love is an eternal torment that never rests -
BELL. Until he has created love where there was none, and then gets it for his pains. For importunity in love,
BELIN. Pish, I can't help dreaming of the devil sometimes; would you from thence infer I love him?
ARAM. But that's not all; you caught me in your arms when you named him, and pressed me to your bosom. Sure, if I had not pinched you until you waked, you had stifled me with kisses.
BELIN. O barbarous aspersion!
ARAM. No aspersion, cousin, we are alone. Nay, I can tell you more.
BELIN. I deny it all.
ARAM. What, before you hear it?
BELIN. My denial is premeditated like your malice. Lard, cousin, you talk oddly. Whatever the matter is, O my Sol, I'm afraid you'll follow evil courses.
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha, this is pleasant.
BELIN. You may laugh, but -
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha!
BELIN. You think the malicious grin becomes you. The devil take Bellmour. Why do you tell me of him?
ARAM. Oh, is it come out? Now you are angry, I am sure you love him. I tell nobody else, cousin. I have not betrayed you yet.
BELIN. Prithee tell it all the world; it's false.
ARAM. Come, then, kiss and friends.
BELIN. Pish.
ARAM. Prithee don't be so peevish.
BELIN. Prithee don't be so impertinent. Betty!
ARAM. Ha, ha, ha!
BETTY. Did your ladyship call, madam?
BELIN. Get my hoods and tippet, and bid the footman call a chair.
ARAM. I hope you are not going out in dudgeon, cousin.
SCENE IV.
[To them] FOOTMAN.
FOOT. Madam, there are -
BELIN. Is there a chair?
FOOT. No, madam, there are Mr. Bellmour and Mr. Vainlove to wait upon your ladyship.
ARAM. Are they below?
FOOT. No, madam, they sent before, to know if you were at home.
BELIN. The visit's to you, cousin; I suppose I am at my liberty.
ARAM. Be ready to show 'em up.
SCENE V.
[To them] BETTY, with Hoods and Looking-glass.
I can't tell, cousin; I believe we are equally concerned. But if you continue your humour, it won't be very entertaining. (I know she'd fain be persuaded to stay.) [Aside.]
BELIN. I shall oblige you, in leaving you to the full and free enjoyment of that conversation you admire.
BELIN. Let me see; hold the glass. Lard, I look wretchedly to- day!
ARAM. Betty, why don't you help my cousin? [Putting on her hoods.]
BELIN. Hold off your fists, and see that he gets a chair with a high roof, or a very low seat. Stay, come back here, you Mrs. Fidget--you are so ready to go to the footman. Here, take 'em all again, my mind's changed; I won't go.
SCENE VI.
ARAMINTA, BELINDA.
ARAM. So, this I expected. You won't oblige me, then, cousin, and let me have all the company to myself?
BELIN. No; upon deliberation, I have too much charity to trust you to yourself. The devil watches all opportunities; and in this favourable disposition of your mind, heaven knows how far you may be tempted: I am tender of your reputation.
ARAM. I am obliged to you. But who's malicious now, Belinda?
BELIN. Not I; witness my heart, I stay out of pure affection.
ARAM. In my conscience I believe you.
SCENE VII.
[To them] VAINLOVE, BELLMOUR, FOOTMAN.
BELL. So, fortune be praised! To find you both within, ladies, is -
ARAM. No miracle, I hope.
BELL. Not o' your side, madam, I confess. But my tyrant there and I, are two buckets that can never come together.
BELIN. Nor are ever like. Yet we often meet and clash.
BELL. How never like! marry, Hymen forbid. But this it is to run so extravagantly in debt; I have laid out such a world of love in your service, that you think you can never be able to pay me all. So shun me for the same reason that you would a dun.
BELIN. Ay, on my conscience, and the most impertinent and troublesome of duns--a dun for money will be quiet, when he sees his debtor has not wherewithal. But a dun for love is an eternal torment that never rests -
BELL. Until he has created love where there was none, and then gets it for his pains. For importunity in love,