The Outlandish Companion - Diana Gabaldon [175]
Having said that, I like very much her reluctance to enter the details in her log book. That is very nicely done.
Mira
Fm: Diana Gabaldon 76530,523
To: Mira Brown 100425,170 (X)
Dear Mira—
Well, as you say, the medical people at the hospital were terribly upset, because you _could_ have died, and they felt responsible, even though they had no choice. I’ve talked with a number of doctors by way of research (and curiosity), and an underlying sense of deep responsibility—that does go beyond reason, now and then—seems to be a trait they share.
One doctor told me about in-house inquiries into patient deaths—a vague variant of which I used in this scene—and mentioned that one of the chief intentions/effects of this was to provide catharsis for the physician who had caused/presided over the death, because there _was_ a deep feeling of guilt attending, no matter whether the physician _could_ have prevented the death or not.
In other words, Claire’s feelings of responsibility and guilt are pretty much based on testimony by Real Doctors I Have Known (and read about). They may be slightly complicated here by the use of the penicillin; that is, she _knows_ how chancy the stuff is, though the chanciness would more often have to do with a lack of effectiveness, or an accidental contamination, than with a straightforward hypersensitivity. Still, she knows how desperately valuable an antibiotic can be, and has been making steady efforts throughout the book to find a way to make it reliable enough to be useful.
So, this penicillin is entirely her game, so to speak; naturally, she’s going to feel responsible for anything that happens in consequence of using it, no matter what the other circumstances.
As to anger—well, she’s been in the eighteenth century for a longish time now, and she’s seen one hell of a lot of (what would be by modern standards) unnecessary deaths. I don’t think she’d waste a lot of time getting angry at people for ignorance—she never has, if you look back at the other books. She’s pretty outspoken about telling people what they _ought_ to do, but she’d lived in primitive places long before her disappearance into the past; she isn’t one to look down on people or get mad at them because they don’t know what she knows.
Besides. Likewise, she realizes—also perhaps for the first time—that she _has_ given part of herself to her daughter, and that will continue, even after Claire herself has gone. So, the guilt and responsibility flow naturally into that whole mortality/immortality theme