The Outlandish Companion - Diana Gabaldon [36]
The next several years are a time of surprising peace and contentment. If life is still lonely, there are compensations; chief among these being Jamie’s son, William. Adored and spoiled by his female relatives, Willie is still a bonny lad, and much attached to “Mac,” his groom, with whom he spends a great deal of time, riding or working in the stables.
All good things come to an end, though; as Willie grows, his face—at first round and pudding-shaped—begins to take on an alarming resemblance to Jamie’s own bold features. While a casual eye might still pass over it, it’s clear to Jamie that soon the resemblance will cause comment—and worse. It’s time to go.
A pardon is arranged, through the offices of Lady Dunsany and Lord John Grey, whose family has influence at Court.
Grey comes to bid farewell to Jamie—in the process revealing that he has guessed the secret of William’s parentage. Jamie’s alarm at the revelation is tempered by Lord John’s further news; he is marrying the Lady Isobel, Geneva’s younger sister, and will thus become William’s guardian.
Aware that Lord John’s chief reason for undertaking this marriage is his desire to guard the boy for Jamie’s sake, Jamie steels himself to offer—awkwardly—the only thing he has to give John Grey in return.
“I… would be obliged to you. ”Jamie sounded as though his collar were too tight, though in fact his shirt was open at the throat. Grey looked curiously at him, and saw that his countenance was slowly turning a dark and painful red.
“In return … If you want… I mean, I would be willing to … that is …”
Grey suppressed the sudden desire to laugh. He laid a light hand on the big Scot’s arm, and saw Jamie brace himself not to flinch at the touch.
“My dear Jamie,” he said, torn between laughter and exasperation. “Are you actually offering me your body in payment for my promise to look after Willie?”
Frasers face was red as the roots of his hair.
“Aye, I am,” he snapped, tight-lipped. “D’ye want it, or no?”
While strongly tempted, Lord John is entirely aware of Jamie’s feelings—or lack of them. Realizing that Jamie cannot give him a love he doesn’t possess, he is willing to settle instead for Jamie’s friendship; that, both men can share with sincerity.
Leaving Willie to the care of Lord John, Jamie takes a painful farewell from his son, and turns his face toward the mountains of Scotland—going home, at last, to Lallybroch.
In 1968, the year is drawing toward Samhain, the November Feast of All Souls—and Claire is drawing closer to the moment of decision. All through their search, she has asked herself—what if he is alive? What then? Now, Roger and Brianna have traced Jamie—they think—to a printer’s shop in Edinburgh, where an “A. Malcolm” printed commercial matter and political pamphlets that match handwritten documents in Jamie’s writing.
If time works as they think it does, then Claire may return to a time twenty years past her departure on the eve of Culloden; she may be able to find “A. Malcolm.” But should she? Her daughter is grown; a college student living on her own. But to leave, with no prospect of return through the perilous stones—not only to risk her life, but to accept never seeing her daughter again … is the chance of finding Jamie worth such a sacrifice?
Claire searches her heart, and the past, seeking an answer with Roger Wakefield’s help. Roger, in love with the daughter— and not a little with the mother— promises Claire that he will keep Brianna safe; she will not be left alone. Brianna urges her mother to go—but the bond between mother and child is strong, and cannot be broken easily.
In the end Claire is still undecided, even as she climbs the hill of Craigh na Dun. Should she go? Can she go? Her questions are answered by the sight of Roger and Brianna, waiting for her in the stone circle—Brianna dressed in eighteenth-century-style clothes. If Claire will not go, she firmly informs her mother, then she will. Someone must find Jamie,