The Plains of Passage - Jean M. Auel [147]
Ayla nodded. “There could be some truth in that,” she said. She liked what he said, and thought that maybe, someday, she would like to meet this Zelandoni and ask her to tell the whole story. “Creb told me the stars were the hearths of the people who live in the spirit world. All the people who have returned, and all the people not yet born. And the home of the spirits of the totems.”
“There could be truth in that, too,” Jondalar said. Flatheads really must be almost human, he thought. No animal would think like that.
“He once showed me where my totem’s home was, the Great Cave Lion,” Ayla said and, stifling a yawn, she rolled over on her side.
Ayla tried to see the way ahead, but huge, moss-covered trunks of trees blocked her view. She kept climbing, not sure where she was going or why, just wishing she could stop and rest. She was so tired. If she could just sit down. The log ahead looked inviting, if she could reach it, but it always seemed another step farther. Then she was on top of it, but it gave way beneath her, collapsing into rotten wood and wriggling grubs. She was falling through it, clawing at the earth, trying to climb back up.
Then the dense forest was gone, and she was clambering up the steep side of a mountain through an open woods along a familiar path. At the top was a high mountain meadow where a small family of deer fed. Hazelnut bushes grew against the rock of a mountain wall. She was afraid, and there was safety behind the bushes, but she couldn’t find the way in. The opening was blocked by the hazelnut bushes, and they were growing, growing to the size of huge trees, with mossy trunks. She tried to see the way ahead, but all she could see were the trees, and it was getting dark. She was afraid, but then, in the distance, she saw someone moving through the deep shade.
It was Creb. He was standing in front of the opening of a small cave, blocking her way, his hand signs saying she couldn’t stay. This was not her place. She had to leave, to find another place, the place where she belonged. He tried to tell her the way, but it was dark and she couldn’t quite see what he was saying, only that she had to keep going. Then he stretched out his good arm and pointed.
When she looked ahead, the trees were gone. She started climbing again, toward the opening of another cave. Though she knew she had never seen it before, it was a strangely familiar cave, with an oddly misplaced boulder silhoutted against the sky above it. When she looked back, Creb was leaving. She called out to him, pleading with him.
“Creb! Creb! Help me! Don’t go!”
“Ayla! Wake up! You’re dreaming,” Jondalar said, shaking her gently.
She opened her eyes, but the fire had gone out and it was dark. She clung to the man.
“Oh, Jondalar, it was Creb. He was blocking the way. He wouldn’t let me in—he wouldn’t let me stay. He was trying to tell me something, but it was so dark I couldn’t see. He was pointing toward a cave, and something about it looked familiar, but he wouldn’t stay.”
Jondalar could feel her shaking in his arms as he held her close, comforting her with his presence. Suddenly she sat up. “That cave! The one he was blocking, that was my cave. That was where I went after Durc was born, when I was afraid they wouldn’t let me keep him.”
“Dreams are hard to understand. Sometimes a zelandoni can tell you what they mean. Maybe you are still feeling bad about leaving your son,” the man said.
“Maybe,” she said. She did feel bad about leaving Durc, but if that was what her dream meant, why was she dreaming it now? Why not after she stood on the island looking across Beran Sea, trying to see the peninsula, and cried her final goodbye to him. There was something about it that made her feel there was more to her dream than that. Finally she settled down and they both dozed off for a while. When she woke again, it was daylight, though they were still in the shaded gloom of