The Plains of Passage - Jean M. Auel [186]
It was acceptable to refrain from mentioning, but Ayla knew that the allowance was meant for courtesy and to permit some measure of privacy, and she had gone beyond that. She was deliberately withholding information. She could administer the medicine, if she felt it was appropriate, but Iza had told her that it could be dangerous if people, especially men, realized that she knew how to defeat the strongest of spirits and prevent pregnancy. It was secret knowledge meant only for medicine women.
A thought suddenly occurred to Ayla. If it could prevent Her from blessing a woman, could Iza’s magic medicine be stronger than the Mother? How could that be? But if She did create all the plants in the first place, She must have made it on purpose! She must have meant for it to be used to help women when it would be dangerous or difficult for them to become pregnant. But then why didn’t more women know about it? Maybe they did. Since it grew so close, maybe these Sharamudoi women were familiar with it. She could ask, but would they tell her? And if they didn’t know, how could she ask without telling them? But if the Mother meant it for women, wouldn’t it be right to tell them? Ayla’s mind raced with questions, but she had no answers.
“Why did you need to get plants for bites and stings now?” Jondalar said, his concern still showing in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to worry you,” Ayla said, then smiled, “it’s just that this area feels so much like home, I wanted to explore it.”
Suddenly he had to smile, too. “And you found some blackberries for breakfast, didn’t you? Now I know what took you so long. I never met anyone who loved blackberries more than you do.” He had noticed her discomfiture, but he was delighted when he thought he had discovered why she seemed so reluctant to talk about her little side trip.
“Well, yes, I did have a few. Maybe we can go back later and pick some for everyone. They are so ripe and good now. There are some other things I want to look for, too.”
“I have a feeling we’re going to have all the blackberries we could want, with you around, Ayla,” Jondalar said, kissing her purple-stained mouth.
He was so relieved that she was safe, and so pleased with himself to think that he had found her out and discovered her weakness for sweet berries, that she just smiled and let him think what he wanted. She did like blackberries, but her real weakness was him, and she suddenly felt such an overwhelming warmth of love for him that she wished they were alone. She wanted to hold him, and touch him, and Pleasure him, and feel him Pleasuring her the way he did so well. Her eyes showed her feelings, and his wonderful, exceptionally blue eyes returned them with added measure. She felt a tingling deep inside and had to turn away to settle herself.
“How is Roshario?” she said. “Is she awake yet?”
“Yes, and she says she’s hungry. Carolio came up from the dock and is fixing something for us, but we thought we should wait until you came before she ate.”
“I’ll go and see how she is, and then I’d like to take a morning swim,” Ayla said.
As she headed for the dwelling, Dolando pulled back the flap to come outside, and Wolf came bounding out. He jumped up on her, put his paws on her shoulders, and licked her jaw.
“Wolf, get down! My hands are full,” she said.
“He seems glad to see you,” Dolando said. He hesitated, then added, “I am, too, Ayla. Roshario needs you.”
It was an acknowledgment of sorts, at least an admission that he did not want her to keep away from his mate, for all his raving the night before. She had known it when he allowed her into his dwelling, but he hadn’t said it.
“Is there anything you need? Anything I can get for you?” the man asked. He had noticed her hands were full.
“I’d like to dry these plants and need a rack,” she said. “I can make one, but for that I need some wood, and thongs or sinew for lashings.”