The Plains of Passage - Jean M. Auel [221]
“From the way you always talk about him, I think your brother must have been like the man of his hearth,” Ayla said, resuming the conversation. “Thonolan liked to travel, too, didn’t he? Did he look like Willomar?”
“Yes, but not as much as I resemble Dalanar. Everyone remarks on it. Thonolan had a lot more of Marthona in him,” Jondalar smiled, “but he was never chosen by an eagle, so that doesn’t explain his travel urge.” The smile faded. “My brother’s scars were from that unpredictable woolly rhinoceros.” He was thoughtful for a while. “But then Thonolan always was a bit unpredictable. Maybe it was his totem. It didn’t seem to be very lucky for him, although the Sharamudoi did find us, and I never saw him as happy as he was after he met Jetamio.”
“I don’t think the Woolly Rhino is a lucky totem,” Ayla said, “but I think the Cave Lion is. When he chose me, he even gave me the same marks the Clan uses for a Cave Lion totem, so Creb would know. Your scars are not Clan marks, but they are clear. You were marked by a Cave Lion.”
“I definitely do have the scars to prove that I was marked by your cave lion, Ayla.”
“I think the spirit of the Cave Lion chose you so that your totem spirit would be strong enough for mine, so that someday I will be able to have your children,” Ayla said.
“I thought you said it was a man who made a baby start growing inside a woman, not spirits,” Jondalar said.
“It is a man, but maybe spirits need to help. Since I have such a strong totem, the man who is my mate would need a strong one, too. So maybe the Mother decided to tell the Cave Lion to choose you, so we can make babies together.”
They rode together in silence again, thinking their own thoughts. Ayla was imagining a baby that looked like Jondalar, except a girl, not a boy. She didn’t seem to be lucky with sons. Maybe she’d be able to keep a daughter.
Jondalar was thinking about children, too. If it was true that a man started life with his organ, they had certainly given a baby plenty of chances to start. Why wasn’t she pregnant?
Was Serenio pregnant when I left? he thought. I’m glad she found someone to be happy with, but I wish she had said something to Roshario. Are any children in the world in some way a part of me? Jondalar tried to think of the women he had known and remembered Noria, the young woman of Haduma’s people with whom he shared First Rites. Both Noria and the old Haduma herself had seemed convinced that his spirit had entered her and that a new life had begun. She was supposed to give birth to a son with blue eyes like his. They were even going to name him Jondal. Was it true? he wondered. Had his spirit mixed with Noria’s to begin a new life?
But Haduma’s people didn’t live so far away, and in the right direction, to the north and west. Maybe they could stop for a visit, except, he suddenly realized, he didn’t really know how to find them. They had come to where he and Thonolan had been camped. He knew their home Caves were not only west of the Sister, they were west of the Great Mother River, but he didn’t know where. He did recall that they sometimes hunted in the region between the two rivers, but that was of little help. He would probably never know if Noria had that baby.
Ayla’s thoughts had turned from waiting until they reached Jondalar’s home before they started having children, to his people, and what they were like. She wondered if they would find her acceptable. She felt a little more confident, after meeting the Sharamudoi, that there would be a place for her somewhere, but she wasn’t sure if it would be with the Zelandonii. She remembered that Jondalar had reacted with strong revulsion when he first discovered she had been raised by