The Plains of Passage - Jean M. Auel [393]
“I thought it was Losaduna, or maybe Solandia.”
“They went to their bed before we did; they had their own honoring to do. I asked them. They didn’t even know we had gone to the sacred waters—although Losaduna seemed particularly pleased about it.”
“If they didn’t, then who … Madenia?”
“I’m almost certain it was.”
Jondalar frowned with concentration. “We’ve been traveling alone together for so long that … I’ve never really said it before, but … I feel a little … I don’t know … reluctant, I guess, to be as impetuous, as free when we’re around people. I thought we were alone last night. If I’d known she was there, I might not have been as … unrestrained,” he said.
Ayla smiled. “I know,” she said. She was becoming more and more aware that he didn’t like to reveal the deeply sensitive side of his nature, and she was pleased that he would express himself to her, in words and actions. “I’m glad you didn’t know she was there, both for me, and for her.”
“Why for her?” he asked.
“I think that’s what convinced her to go ahead with her womanhood ceremony. She had been around men and women sharing Pleasures often enough that she didn’t think about it, until those men forced her. Afterward she could only think about the pain, and the horror of being used as a thing, with no thought for her as a woman. It’s hard to explain, Jondalar. Something like that makes you feel so … terrible.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but I think there was more to it,” the man said.“After a girl has her first moon time, but before she has had her First Rites, a woman is most vulnerable—and most desirable. Every man is drawn to her, perhaps because she may not be touched. At any other time, a woman is free to choose any man, or none, but at that time, it is dangerous for her.”
“Like Latie wasn’t even supposed to look at her brothers,” Ayla said. “Mamut explained about that.”
“Maybe not entirely,” Jondalar said. “It is up to the girl-woman to show restraint then, and it’s not always easy. She is the center of attention; every man wants her, particularly the younger ones, and it can be hard for her to resist. They follow her around, trying every way they can to get her to give in to them. Some girls do, especially those who have a long wait before the Summer Meeting. But if she allows herself to be opened without the proper rituals, she is … not well thought of. If it’s found out, and sometimes the Mother blesses her before she is a woman, making sure everyone knows that she was opened—people can be cruel. They blame her and make fun of her.”
“But why should they blame her? They should blame the men who won’t let her alone,” Ayla said, irked at the unfairness.
“People say if she can’t show restraint, she lacks the qualities to assume the responsibilities of Motherhood and Leadership. She will never be chosen to sit on the Council of Mothers, or Sisters, or whatever name her people give to their council of highest authority, so she loses status, which makes her less desirable as a mate. Not that she loses the status of her mother or her hearth—nothing she is born with is taken away—but she will never be chosen by a man of high status, or even one who has the potential for it. I think Madenia feared that as much as anything,” Jondalar said.
“No wonder Verdegia said she was ruined.” Ayla’s brow creased with concern. “Jondalar, will her people accept Losaduna’s cleansing ritual? You know that once she is open, she can never really go back to the way she was.”
“I think so. It wasn’t that she didn’t show restraint. She was forced, and people are angry enough about Charoli to use that against him. There may be a few who will have reservations, but she will have a lot of defenders, too.”
Ayla was silent for a while. “People are complicated, aren’t they? Sometimes I wonder if anything is really what it seems.”
“I think it will work, Laduni,” Jondalar said. “I do think it will work! Let me go through it again. We’ll use the bowl boat to carry dried grass, and enough burning stones