The Pleasures of the Damned - Charles Bukowski [76]
by their plight. both men and women
are soon loaded on to the waiting bus except for
the last one, a very old man, almost skeletal,
with a tiny round head, completely bald, a
shining white dot against the late afternoon sky,
waving a cane above his head as he is
pushed shouting on to the electric lift:
“WELL, THEY ROBBED OUR ASSES
AGAIN, CLEANED US OUT, WE’RE A
BUNCH OF SUCKERS TOTTERING ON THE
EDGE OF OUR GRAVES AND WE LET THEM TAKE
OUR LAST PENNY AGAIN!
” as he speaks
he waves the cane above his head and
cracks the marvelous fat fellow
who is pushing his chair,
cracks the cane against the side of
the caretaker’s head.
it’s a mighty blow and
the attendant staggers, grabs
hard at the back of the
wheelchairas
the old man yells: “OH, JERRY,
I’M SORRY, I’M SO SORRY, WHAT CAN I
DO? WHAT
CAN I DO?”
Jerry steadies himself, he is not badly hurt.
it’s a small concussion but within an hour
he will possess a knot the size of an
apricot.
“it’s all right, Sandy, only
I’ve told you again and again, please
be careful with that damned
cane…”
Sandy is pushed on to the electric
lift, it rises and he disappears into
the bus’s dark interior.
then Jerry climbs slowly into the bus, takes
the wheel, starts up, the door closes with a hiss,
the bus begins to move to the exit,
and on the back of the vehicle
in bold white letters
on dark blue background
I see the words:
HARBOR HOME OF LOVE.
there
the centerfielder
turns
rushes back
reaches up his glove
and
snares the
ball,
we are all him for
that moment,
sucking the air
into our
gut.
as the crowd roars like
crazy
we rifle the ball back
through the
miraculous
air.
Dinosauria, we
born like this
into this
as the chalk faces smile
as Mrs. Death laughs
as the elevators break
as political landscapes dissolve
as the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
as the oily fish spit out their oily prey
as the sun is masked
we are
born like this
into this
into these carefully mad wars
into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
into bars where people no longer speak to each other
into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings
born into this
into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die
into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty
into a country where the jails are full and the mad houses closed
into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes
born into this
walking and living through this
dying because of this
muted because of this
castrated
debauched
disinherited
because of this
fooled by this
used by this
pissed on by this
made crazy and sick by this
made violent
made inhuman
by this
the heart is blackened
the fingers reach for the throat
the gun
the knife
the bomb
the fingers reach toward an unresponsive god
the fingers reach for the bottle
the pill
the powder
we are born into this sorrowful deadliness
we are born into a government 60 years in debt
that soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
and the banks will burn
money will be useless
there will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
it will be guns and roving mobs
land will be useless
food will become a diminishing return
nuclear power will be taken over by the many
explosions will continually shake the earth
radiated robot men will stalk each other
the rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground
the sun will not be seen and it will always be night
trees will die
all vegetation will die
radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
the sea will be poisoned
the lakes and rivers will vanish
rain will be the new gold
the rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind
the last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases
and the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
the petering out of supplies
the natural effect of general decay
and there will be