The Price She Paid [106]
he was a crank on the subject of singing and stomachs, and singing and ankles. But I've been convinced, partly by him, mostly by what I've observed.''
Mildred maintained an icy silence.
``I see you are resenting what I said,'' observed Cyrilla.
``Not at all,'' said Mildred. ``No doubt you meant well.''
``You will please remember that you asked me a question.''
So she had. But the discovery that she was clearly in the wrong, that she had invited the disguised lecture, only aggravated her sense of resentment against Mrs. Brindley. She spent the rest of the afternoon in sorting and packing her belongings--and in crying. She came upon the paper Donald Keith had left. She read it through carefully, thoughtfully, read it to the last direction as to exercise with the machine, the last arrangement for a daily routine of life, the last suggestion as to diet.
``Fortunately all that isn't necessary,'' said she to herself, when she had finished. ``If it were, I could never make a career. I'm not stupid enough to be able to lead that kind of life. Why, I'd not care to make a career, at that price. Slavery--plain slavery.''
When she went in to dinner, she saw instantly that Cyrilla too had been crying. Cyrilla did not look old, anything but that, indeed was not old and would not begin to be for many a year. Still, after thirty-five or forty a woman cannot indulge a good cry without its leaving serious traces that will show hours afterward. At sight of the evidences of Cyrilla's grief Mildred straightway forgot her resentment. There must have been some other cause for Cyrilla's peculiar conduct. No matter what, since it was not hardness of heart.
It was a sad, even a gloomy dinner. But the two women were once more in perfect sympathy. And afterward Mildred brought the Keith paper and asked Cyrilla's opinion. Cyrilla read slowly and without comment. At last she said:
``He got this from his mother, Lucia Rivi. Have you read her life?''
``No. I've heard almost nothing about her, except that she was famous.''
``She was more than that,'' said Mrs. Brindley. ``She was great, a great personality. She was an almost sickly child and girl. Her first attempts on the stage were humiliating failures. She had no health, no endurance, nothing but a small voice of rare quality.'' Cyrilla held up the paper. ``This tells how she became one of the surest and most powerful dramatic sopranos that ever lived.''
``She must have been a dull person to have been able to lead the kind of life that's described there,'' said Mildred.
``Only two kinds of persons could do it,'' replied Cyrilla--``a dull person--a plodder--and a genius. Middling people--they're the kind that fill the world, they're you and I, my dear--middling people have to fuss with the trifles that must be sacrificed if one is to do anything big. You call those trifles your freedom, but they're your slavery. And by sacrificing them the Lucia Rivis buy their freedom.'' Cyrilla looked at the paper with a heavy sigh. ``Ah, I wish I had seen this when I was your age. Now, it's too late.''
Said Mildred: ``Would you seriously advise me to try that?''
Cyrilla came and sat beside her and put an arm around her. ``Mildred,'' she said, ``I've never thrust advice on you. I only dare do it now because you ask me, and because I love you. You must try it. It's your one chance. If you do not, you will fail. You don't believe me?''
In a tone that was admission, Mildred said: ``I don't know.''
``Keith has given you there the secret of a successful career. You'll never read it in any book, or get it from any teacher, or from any singer or manager or doctor. You must live like that, you must do those things or you will fail even in musical comedy. You would fail even as an actress, if you tried that, when you found out that the singing was out of the question.''
Mildred was impressed. Perhaps she would have been more impressed had she not seen Keith and Mrs. Brindley in the taxi, Keith talking earnestly and Mrs. Brindley listening
Mildred maintained an icy silence.
``I see you are resenting what I said,'' observed Cyrilla.
``Not at all,'' said Mildred. ``No doubt you meant well.''
``You will please remember that you asked me a question.''
So she had. But the discovery that she was clearly in the wrong, that she had invited the disguised lecture, only aggravated her sense of resentment against Mrs. Brindley. She spent the rest of the afternoon in sorting and packing her belongings--and in crying. She came upon the paper Donald Keith had left. She read it through carefully, thoughtfully, read it to the last direction as to exercise with the machine, the last arrangement for a daily routine of life, the last suggestion as to diet.
``Fortunately all that isn't necessary,'' said she to herself, when she had finished. ``If it were, I could never make a career. I'm not stupid enough to be able to lead that kind of life. Why, I'd not care to make a career, at that price. Slavery--plain slavery.''
When she went in to dinner, she saw instantly that Cyrilla too had been crying. Cyrilla did not look old, anything but that, indeed was not old and would not begin to be for many a year. Still, after thirty-five or forty a woman cannot indulge a good cry without its leaving serious traces that will show hours afterward. At sight of the evidences of Cyrilla's grief Mildred straightway forgot her resentment. There must have been some other cause for Cyrilla's peculiar conduct. No matter what, since it was not hardness of heart.
It was a sad, even a gloomy dinner. But the two women were once more in perfect sympathy. And afterward Mildred brought the Keith paper and asked Cyrilla's opinion. Cyrilla read slowly and without comment. At last she said:
``He got this from his mother, Lucia Rivi. Have you read her life?''
``No. I've heard almost nothing about her, except that she was famous.''
``She was more than that,'' said Mrs. Brindley. ``She was great, a great personality. She was an almost sickly child and girl. Her first attempts on the stage were humiliating failures. She had no health, no endurance, nothing but a small voice of rare quality.'' Cyrilla held up the paper. ``This tells how she became one of the surest and most powerful dramatic sopranos that ever lived.''
``She must have been a dull person to have been able to lead the kind of life that's described there,'' said Mildred.
``Only two kinds of persons could do it,'' replied Cyrilla--``a dull person--a plodder--and a genius. Middling people--they're the kind that fill the world, they're you and I, my dear--middling people have to fuss with the trifles that must be sacrificed if one is to do anything big. You call those trifles your freedom, but they're your slavery. And by sacrificing them the Lucia Rivis buy their freedom.'' Cyrilla looked at the paper with a heavy sigh. ``Ah, I wish I had seen this when I was your age. Now, it's too late.''
Said Mildred: ``Would you seriously advise me to try that?''
Cyrilla came and sat beside her and put an arm around her. ``Mildred,'' she said, ``I've never thrust advice on you. I only dare do it now because you ask me, and because I love you. You must try it. It's your one chance. If you do not, you will fail. You don't believe me?''
In a tone that was admission, Mildred said: ``I don't know.''
``Keith has given you there the secret of a successful career. You'll never read it in any book, or get it from any teacher, or from any singer or manager or doctor. You must live like that, you must do those things or you will fail even in musical comedy. You would fail even as an actress, if you tried that, when you found out that the singing was out of the question.''
Mildred was impressed. Perhaps she would have been more impressed had she not seen Keith and Mrs. Brindley in the taxi, Keith talking earnestly and Mrs. Brindley listening