The Price She Paid [47]
``No,'' said Mildred. ``I'm going back to New York. You can tell people here what you please-- that I've gone to rejoin him or to wait for him--any old thing.''
``At least you'll wait and talk with Presbury,'' pleaded her mother. ``He is VERY sensible.''
``If he has anything to suggest,'' said Mildred, ``he can write it. I'll send you my address.''
``Milly,'' cried her mother, agitated to the depths, ``where ARE you going? WHAT are you going to do? You look so strange--not at all like yourself.''
``I'm going to a hotel to-night--probably to a boarding-house to-morrow,'' said Mildred. ``In a few days I shall begin to--'' she hesitated, decided against confidence--'' begin to support myself at something or other.''
``You must be crazy!'' cried her mother. ``You wouldn't do anything--and you couldn't.''
``Let's not discuss it, mamma,'' said the girl tranquilly.
The mother looked at her with eyes full of the suspicion one lady cannot but have as to the projects of another lady in such circumstances.
``Mildred,'' she said pleadingly, ``you must be careful. You'll find yourself involved in a dreadful scandal. I know you wouldn't DO anything WRONG no matter how you were driven. But--''
``I'll not do anything FOOLISH, mamma,'' interrupted the girl. ``You are thinking about men, aren't you?''
``Men are always ready to destroy a woman,'' said her mother. ``You must be careful--''
Mildred was laughing. ``Oh, mamma,'' she cried, ``do be sensible and do give me credit for a little sense. I've got a very clear idea of what a woman ought to do about men, and I assure you I'm not going to be FOOLISH. And you know a woman who isn't foolish can be trusted where a woman who's only protected by her principles would yield to the first temptation--or hunt round for a temptation.''
``But you simply can't go to New York and live there all alone--and with nothing!''
``Can I stay here--for more than a few days?''
``But maybe, after a few days--'' stammered her mother.
``You see, I've got to begin,'' said Mildred. ``So why delay? I'd gain nothing. I'd simply start Hanging Rock to gossiping--and start Mr. Presbury to acting like a fiend again.''
Her mother refused to be convinced--was the firmer, perhaps, because she saw that Mildred was unshakable in her resolve to leave forthwith--the obviously sensible and less troublesome course. They employed the rest of Mildred's three hours' stop in arguing--when Mildred was not raging against the little general. Her mother was more than willing to assist her in this denunciation, but Mildred preferred to do it all herself. She had--perhaps by unconsciously absorbed training from her lawyer father--an unusual degree of ability to see both sides of a question. When she assailed her husband, she saw only her own side; but somehow when her mother railed and raved, she began to see another side--and the sight was not agreeable. She wished to feel that her husband was altogether in the wrong; she did not wish to have intruded upon her such facts as that she had sold herself to him--quite in the customary way of ladies, but nevertheless quite shamelessly --or that in strict justice she had done nothing for him to entitle her to a liberal money allowance or any allowance at all.
On the train, going back to New York, she admitted to herself that the repulsive little general had held strictly to the terms of the bargain--'' but only a devil and one with not a single gentlemanly instinct would insist on such a bargain.'' It took away much of the shame, and all of the sting, of despising herself to feel that she was looking still lower when she turned to despising him.
To edge out the little general she began to think of her mother, but as she passed in review what her mother had said and how she had said it she saw that for all the protests and arguings her mother was more than resigned to her departure. Mildred felt no bitterness; ever since she could remember her mother had been a shifter of responsibility. Still, to stare into the face