The Psychology of Dexter - Bella DePaulo [19]
In discussing the problem of violence, especially in light of nature and nurture, it is important to remember that aggression is a normal, adaptive behavior common to all species. From male lions defending their territory to mother hens protecting their chicks from predators, aggression is essential for survival. Even for modern-day humans, some aggressive behavior can be advantageous; getting ahead sometimes requires stepping on a few toes. Aggression becomes problematic when it is excessive in frequency or intensity. Society is primarily concerned with crime and antisocial behavior committed by men, and to a lesser extent women, between the ages of fifteen and thirty because this group causes the most damage. Their aggression can cause loss of life or costly damage to property. However, the most violent age for humans is not young adulthood, but toddlerhood. Aggression is a natural part of human nature and development. In a study observing toddlers’ social behavior, almost half the boys around the age of two kicked, bit, or hit their peers. Luckily for our safety’s sake, those behaviors diminish as children grow into adolescents and adults, and social instruction likely directs that change.
The Importance of Harry
“Babies do not kill each other because we do not give them access to knives and guns. The question we’ve been trying to answer for the past thirty years is how do children learn to aggress. That’s the wrong question. The right question is how do they learn not to aggress.”
—Richard Tremblay, from “The Violence of the Lambs” in Science (2000)
This is the value that nurture holds. Even among identical twins, if one child receives more negativity and less warmth from their parents, that child is more likely to develop antisocial behavior, highlighting the importance nurture plays in development.8 Estimates of the population hold that roughly one in ten children inherits callous-unemotional traits, putting him or her at risk for developing antisocial behavior.4 However, even most individuals with an inherited susceptibility for violence do not grow up to become criminals because nurture plays an equally important role in development. This provides insight into the divergence between Dexter and Brian. Even as an adolescent, Dexter managed to avoid trouble while Brian spent his youth in detention. As an adult Brian has difficulty forming meaningful relationships, whereas Dexter not only makes an effort to get along with his colleagues, he also retains a close bond with Deb and strove to be a family man and loving (if awkward) boyfriend and eventually husband to Rita.
Although Dexter’s penchant for violence never fades, he learns to harness it and use it only in prescribed circumstances. Ultimately, he develops a unique pathology where he only kills for justice:9