The Psychology of Dexter - Bella DePaulo [29]
In addition to the possibility of one day revealing his identity, Dexter’s signature tells his story—his traumatic life history and fantasies. As loyal viewers we sympathize with his pain and plight, and root for Dexter as he continues to foil the boys and girls in blue.
Marisa Mauro, PsyD, is a psychologist in private practice with a focus on forensics in Austin, Texas. She also works as a freelance writer and regularly contributes to her blog, “Take All Prisoners,” on PsychologyToday. com. Previously, Dr. Mauro worked as a clinical psychologist at the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Much of her work there was focused on violent offenders, gang members, and inmates serving life sentences. She has also taught as an adjunct professor and conducted research on personality, academic success, career success, eating disorders, and suicide.
Dexter doesn’t struggle with moral misgivings the way the rest of us do. He doesn’t have the kinds of feelings and emotions that we do. Those limitations make him a little less human. But they also help to make him an exceptionally accomplished liar! His smarts help, too. Don’t give Dexter all the credit, though. He’s the star of the lie-telling show, but he has a whole cast of enablers. Rita, Deb, and many of the members of Miami Metro all contribute—however unwittingly—to Dexter’s spectacularly successful deceits.
DECEPTION: IT’S WHAT DEXTER DOES BEST (WELL, SECOND BEST)
BELLA DEPAULO
Dexter Morgan, man of so little ordinary human sensibility, is an extraordinary liar. What he is covering up with his lies is staggering: Dexter kills people up close and personal. He does it over and over again. Yet hardly anyone ever suspects Dexter’s dark heart and even darker deeds.
Dexter’s job is in a homicide department; everyone around him is trained and experienced in the pursuit of murderers. Dexter’s colleagues, including Dexter’s own sister, Debra, interact with him every day, but they don’t see a killer. Dexter’s wife and kids, too, never suspected that Dexter chops people into their component body parts, ties them up in trash bags, and dumps them in the ocean.
How is this possible? How does this person, so baffled by human emotions and so bereft of natural interpersonal talents, walk mostly unchallenged among friends, family, colleagues, and homicide professionals? And what does this tell us about Dexter’s real-life cousins in crime?
Lying in the Lives of Ordinary Humans
To get a sense of just how often real people lie, my colleagues and I asked 147 people (including college students and a diverse group of people from the community) to keep a record of all of the lies that they told, and all of their social interactions, every day for a week. Over the course of the week, the participants told about one or two lies a day, which amounted to about one lie in every four social interactions. Only seven people claimed never to have lied at all. (Maybe if our study lasted longer, even they would have ’fessed up to telling some lies.)
Most of the lies the participants recorded were little lies. For example, they lied about:
• Their feelings and opinions(“I told him I missed him and thought about him all the time when I really don’t think about him at all”; “I told her that she looked good when she really looked like a blimp”)
• Theiractions, plans, and whereabouts (“Lied about where I had been; didn’t tell them all of the places”; “Said I sent the check this morning”)
• Theirachievements and failings (“Led him to believe I had been a daring ski jumper”; “Tried to appear knowledgeable about operating