The Reluctant Nude - Meg Maguire [46]
“It’s still light out. I’ll be okay.”
“Price of admission. Come on.”
Fallon seemed fresh out of resistance. She exited and Max closed the door behind them.
“So,” he said as they kicked their way through the long, overgrown lawn. “Can I ask why you seem so sad?”
She shrugged. “I got some bad news.”
“Ah.” They descended the steps to the little strip of his so-called beachfront property. “Hold this. It’s your supper.” He handed her the Thermos and unfurled the blanket.
Fallon sat, clutching the Thermos like a talisman, staring off over the water, the tide half out.
“May I sit down?” Max asked.
She turned to stare up at him, eyes wide and tired. “Fine.”
He gave her a couple feet as a buffer and reclined against the lumpy ground. “Did you lose someone?” he asked softly.
“Oh, no. No one’s died. It’s nothing that bad. I lied, actually. It’s good news. It’s really good news… I just wasn’t ready for it.”
“Pregnancy?”
“No—oh, God no. Rachel got engaged.”
“Ah.”
Fallon unscrewed the cap and poured herself some chowder. She was quiet for a long time. “This is really good,” she murmured.
“I used some of your cream. Sorry.”
He caught her smirk with one side of her mouth, looking as if she didn’t want to.
“Do you not like this man she is marrying?” he asked.
“No, Josh is great. He’s probably the only guy on the planet who can keep up with her.”
“So you are sad because you are losing your housemate?”
She nodded.
“I’m sorry. It is hard to lose someone, once you grow accustomed.” He turned his head to study her, thinking about the day when hers wouldn’t be the first voice to greet him in the morning.
“It’s more than that. She’s like my family. But I’ll be okay. I just feel…lost, I guess. I’m so sick of wandering around, you know?”
“You move a lot?”
“Yeah, a hell of a lot.” She cleared her throat. “It was just nice, being in one place for that long. I’ll have to find a renter I guess, or sell the place. It’s not the most amazing house ever. It’s okay. But now I feel like, why even bother staying in Metro New York? It used to mean I was close to my Aunt Gloria, but she passed away this year. Now Rachel. I don’t feel like I have the energy to do this anymore. To do anything.”
“This Aunt Gloria—she’s the one you used to watch old movies with?”
Fallon nodded.
“Tell me about her.”
She hesitated a long time before she spoke. “I went to stay with her when I was fifteen, until I finished high school. In a big old house in Connecticut, just a short drive from the coast. It was really pretty. Sort of idyllic. A huge back lawn and a porch and this big granite cliff rising all along the edge of the property, so you felt you were in a little protected kingdom.”
“That sounds very nice.”
Fallon’s face tensed and her lips quivered until she pursed them.
Max chose to let this topic slide. “How long do you have to decide what you want?”
“At least six months.”
“You know,” he said, “you can go home, if you want. You can go home with your friend and deal with all these things. I was only kidding about you being my prisoner.”
She nodded. “Thank you, I know. But this is important too. And the longer this takes, the longer I’m not bringing home a paycheck. It’s too messy. Plus…it’s good, my being stuck here. I should be thinking about this stuff now while it’s quiet and I’m not working. Don’t worry about it.”
Max clasped his hands over his ribs and stared into the darkening sky. “What do you think it is you want?”
“Like, in my life? I’m not sure. Is anyone ever sure of that?”
“They can be. But then sometimes they change their minds.”
“Well,” Fallon said with a sigh. “I envy you. You seem to know. And you’re able to just have it. You do whatever you like, in a beautiful place, in a house that you own, and you don’t have to answer to anyone.”
“I have freedom, that is true… But that’s not everything. Sometimes I feel very angry about my life, actually.”
“Oh.” She ate a bit more. “What’s wrong with your life? I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who lives as…uniquely as you do. Why are you