The Restaurant at the End of the Universe [39]
"Indeed, sir."
"Hey, Marvin, is that you?" said Zaphod into the phone, "How you doing, kid?"
There was a long pause before a thin low voice came up the line.
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed," it said.
Zaphod cupped his hands over the phone.
"It's Marvin," he said.
"Hey, Marvin," he said into the phone again, "we're having a great time. Food, wine, a little personal abuse and the Universe going foom. Where can we find you?"
Again the pause.
"You don't have to pretend to be interested in me you know," said Marvin at last, "I know perfectly well I'm only a menial robot."
"OK, OK," said Zaphod, "but where are you?"
"'Reverse primary thrust, Marvin,' that's what they say to me, 'open airlock number three, Marvin. Marvin, can you pick up that piece of paper?' Can I pick up that piece of paper! Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to ..."
"Yeah, yeah," sympathized Zaphod hardly at all.
"But I'm quite used to being humiliated," droned Marvin, "I can even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? I've got one ready. Wait a minute."
"Er, hey, Marvin ..." interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late. Sad little clunks and gurgles came up the line.
"What's he saying?" asked Trillian.
"Nothing," said Zaphod, "he just phoned up to wash his head at us."
"There," said Marvin, coming back on the line and bubbling a bit, "I hope that gave satisfaction ..."
"Yeah, yeah," said Zaphod, "now will you please tell us where you are?"
"I'm in the car park," said Marvin.
"The car park?" said Zaphod, "what are you doing there?"
"Parking cars, what else does one do in a car park?"
"OK, hang in there, we'll be right down."
In one movement Zaphod leapt to his feet, threw down the phone and wrote "Hotblack Desiato" on the bill.
"Come on guys," he said, "Marvin's in the car park. Let's get on down."
"What's he doing in the car park?" asked Arthur.
"Parking cars, what else? Dum dum."
"But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment."
"I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod, "nothing but a gnab gib."
"A what?"
"Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy."
Few of the other diners paid them any attention as they weaved their way through the Restaurant to the exit. Their eyes were riveted on the horror of the skies.
"An interesting effect to watch for," Max was telling them, "is in the upper left-hand quadrant of the sky, where if you look very carefully you can see the star system Hastromil boiling away into the ultra-violet. Anyone here from Hastromil?"
There were one or two slightly hesitant cheers from somewhere at the back.
"Well," said Max beaming cheerfully at them, "it's too late to worry about whether you left the gas on now."
Chapter 18
The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it.
Zaphod grasped him firmly by the arm and manoeuvred him into a cubicle standing to one side of the entrance hall.
"What are you doing to him?" asked Arthur.
"Sobering him up," said Zaphod and pushed a coin into a slot. Lights flashed, gases swirled.
"Hi," said Ford stepping out a moment later, "where are we going?"
"Down to the car park, come on."
"What about the personnel Time Teleports?" said Ford, "Get us straight back to the Heart of Gold."
"Yeah, but I've cooled on that ship. Zarniwoop can have it. I don't want to play his games. Let's see what we can find."
A Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter took them down deep into the substrata beneath the Restaurant. They were glad to see it had been vandalized and didn't try to make them happy as well as take them down.
At the bottom of the shaft the lift doors opened and a blast of cold stale air hit them.
The first thing they saw on leaving the lift was a long concrete wall with over fifty doors in it offering lavatory facilities for all of fifty major lifeforms. Nevertheless, like every car park in the Galaxy