The royals - Kitty Kelley [123]
Princess Michael of Kent* became known as the Pushy Princess after insisting that Thorn EMI (a record company) send her ten color television sets for her servants’ quarters before she’d attend a cocktail party. The TV sets arrived—and so did the Princess-for-hire.
She showed a basic understanding for the commerce of royal patronage. Walking by Mozafarian Jewelers on Beauchamp Place in London, she spotted a decorative ivory bear in the window. “It cost $1,000,” said the owner’s daughter, “and she wanted it. So my father said, ‘Wrap it up for her.’ ” The Princess walked out with the fanciful object, and her personal secretary sent a thank-you note, which the owner then displayed in a gold frame.
The British royal family appears eccentrically tightfisted to the people who serve them. “Prince Charles doesn’t like to spend money,” said his former valet Stephen Barry, “and he moans about the price of everything.”
Like his mother, Charles counts the chickens in the freezer at each one of his palaces and insists that leftovers be warmed and served, “night after night,” according to one of his secretaries, “until there is no food left. He cannot abide waste.” He also squeezes his toothpaste with a sterling silver implement called a mangle so he can get the last drop. Then he insists the tubes be recycled.
“All the Windsors are mean as cat’s piss,” said John Barratt. “All of them—from the Queen on down, and she’s the leader of the miserly lot. They pay little to staff * because they think it’s an honor for us to serve them. They give miserable presents—and then only at Christmas. The Queen once gave her laundress a bag of clothespins, which was her idea of a practical gift. She gave her seamstress a heavy horseshoe magnet to pick up the pins she dropped on the floor during fittings. Her Majesty does better for friends, of course, especially if they’re famous. She gave Noel Coward a solid gold crown-encrusted cigarette case for his seventieth birthday, a bizarre present from someone who professes to hate smoking, but lavish. The usual present from the Queen is a photograph of herself or one of her with the Duke of Edinburgh in a sterling silver frame with the royal crest.
“When it comes to those who serve them, Princess Margaret gives the same kind of frightful present as the Queen. Margaret gave one of her elderly ladies-in-waiting a lavatory brush because the poor dear didn’t have one in her loo when she visited.”
The Princess spent weeks before Christmas choosing appropriate gifts for her family, her friends, and her staff and wrapped each present personally. She selects sensibly but has been known to splurge for special employees. One year she gave her detective a video compact disc player and her chauffeur two shirts from Turnbull & Asser. That same year her butler, who had been hired only a few weeks before, received a less extravagant gift. “It was a very nice silk tie from Simpson’s,” he said. “The Princess explained that I would have received a little something more had I been with her longer.”
“The Queen gives the spare minimum,” recalled Barratt, “blow heaters, bath mats, a shovel. She would ring up and ask what Lord Mountbatten would like. I’d tell her that he needed new spurs. So she’d give him spurs. It’s a very useful way of giving a present, although it lacks spontaneity. But then spontaneity would be out of character for the royal family, where everything is programmed.”
The Queen seemed hardworking to her subjects, who appreciated her frugality. They took comfort in her conscientiousness as she recycled her wardrobe and passed her castoffs to her sister and her daughter. They nodded approvingly when one of her corgis