The Sea, The Sea - Iris Murdoch [185]
‘How stuffy it is. James, I hope you don’t mind going to that hotel, it’s called the Raven Hotel, and it’s got a lovely outlook over that bay you liked. And you could drive down the coast and look at those seagulls and things. The fact is, I can’t have you because there isn’t another bed. We’re full up. As it is, Titus is sleeping on the floor.’
‘I quite understand the situation.’
You don’t, old cock, thank God, I thought. And I thought, in a minute I’ll take him back to his car.
I looked at my cousin, now vividly revealed in the bright dark light which delineated everything with a fearful clarity. James had carried his glass of wine with him over the rocks and was sipping it with a maddening air of contented repose, looking out over the sea. He was wearing lightweight black trousers with an open-necked mauve shirt and a white summer jacket. He was a careless dresser but could be foppish in his own way. His hawk-nosed face was dark with the irrepressible beard and with the curious cloud, perhaps the effect of his obscure brown eyes, which always seemed to hang over it. His brown hair was jaggedly untidy.
I suddenly thought, if he’s no longer in the army, why does he have to come and see me at a holiday weekend when the roads are full of traffic?
‘Are you doing anything?’ I said. ‘I mean, have you got another job or anything?’
‘No, gentleman of leisure.’
That was odd. It then came to me in a flash that of course James had not really left the army at all. He had gone underground. He was preparing for some top-secret mission, perhaps involving a return to Tibet. Why had he seemed so annoyed that I had seen that strange oriental figure in his rooms? My cousin had become a secret agent!
I was trying to think of some subtle tactful way of letting him know that I had guessed when he spoke again.
‘And what has happened about Mary Hartley Smith?’
‘Mary Hartley Smith?’
‘Yes. Your first love. You told me she was living here with her husband. That boy is her son. I asked you his name. Titus. Have you forgotten that too?’
The strange thing was that I had forgotten, I had completely forgotten telling James that story. Why had James wanted to know Titus’s name? ‘I must be mad,’ I said, ‘I had forgotten, but I remember now. You gave me some good advice.’
‘Did you take it?’
‘Yes. You were right of course. I was just imagining things. The shock of seeing her set off a lot of old memories. I’ve recovered now and of course I’m not in love with her, it wouldn’t make sense. Anyway she’s just a boring old hag now. The boy drops in occasionally. He’s a bit of a bore too.’
‘I see. So all’s well that ends well.’
‘Have you got a tie?’
‘A tie? Yes.’
‘You’ll need one to get into the dining room at the Raven Hotel. I’ll just see you to your car.’
I escorted him round by the side of the house so as to avoid further conversation in the kitchen.
‘Nice car. New one?’
‘Yes, it goes well. Where can I turn?’
‘Just beyond that rock. How dark it is. You almost need headlights. ’
‘Yes, it’s a funny day. Looks like a storm. Well, thanks for the drink, look after yourself.’ He handed me his empty wine glass.
‘Goodbye, drive carefully.’
The black Bentley moved, swung round, then shot off down the road. James waved, vanished round the corner. Would he come back? I did not think so.
I walked slowly across the causeway and into the house and shut the door. How odd that I had forgotten telling him those things. I must have been drunk. Well, tomorrow was destiny day. I was going to act tomorrow. I thought, I will take Hartley to London. This place is bedevilled somehow.
I stood in the hall for a while. I wanted to be by myself. I put Jame’s wine glass down on the stairs. I could hear the low conspiratorial voices of Gilbert and Titus who were talking in the kitchen. Tomorrow I would speak to Titus. Titus and Hartley and I would be alone together, in another place. My act, my will would create a new family.
I heard a faint straining scraping