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A: haha girl

B: Chris is kind of ambiguous, lol, nice to meet you. what year are you

A: freshman. What about you?

B: cool. im a junior. Major?

A: studio art but i am going to be transferring to communications to do photo journalism. You?

B: history

A: are you involved in any organizations or anything like that here

B: um, im getting certified to teach high school but other than that, no. you?

A: i am thinking about being a photographer. I don’t want to draw for a living

B: photography is great

A: i’m not a serious art student … i did art in high school so i could get into the art school here

Notice at the beginning the two people appear to be approaching the interaction in the same way. By the third time she writes, however, Brittany makes an underhanded power play, “don’t take this the wrong way, are you a boy or a girl?” I ask you, dear reader, can you imagine any sentence that starts with “Don’t take this the wrong way …” that can end well for the listener? Brittany has already put Chris on notice that she has the potential to be a bully.

Afterward, both look for information about the other that can help peg them on some kind of social hierarchy. However, once Brittany discovers that Chris is younger and in a less prestigious major, she psychologically takes control. Once Brittany has established her dominance, Chris begins to focus on herself in a more nervous, submissive way. Much later in the conversation (not included here), the higher-status Brittany works to give Chris advice about how she can (and should) get teacher certification.

Interestingly, both Chris and Brittany reported that they enjoyed the conversation and liked one another. At the end of the time period, the two exchanged e-mail addresses and promised to get in touch with one another in the future. And it is safe to say should they meet for coffee, Brittany will still be the person with the higher status in both of their eyes.

In reading over hundreds of interactions such as this, it is fascinating to watch the unfolding of the status hierarchy. “Innocent” status-related questions include asking the other person about their parents’ occupation, last vacation, exercise habits, ethnicity, living location on campus, grade in the psychology class, and others. Not surprisingly, the person with high status in a particular domain usually is the one who asks a question about it. Notice how the higher-status Brittany is the one who asks about the other person’s year in school and major.

Assessing each other’s status is not unique to English-speaking college students. It is something that happens around the world. In fact, some societies have much simpler rules in assessing status. In South Korea, for example, relative age is one of the most strict determinants of who is higher in the social hierarchy. If the age is the same, wealth or income is assessed next. In these societies, it is common for people to directly ask one another about their lives, which, in the West, might be viewed as impolite. On a recent trip to South Korea, for example, I sat next to a Korean man roughly my age. Within the first ten minutes of the flight, he started a conversation asking me about my age. When it was clear that we were exactly the same age, he asked what my yearly income was. When I answered, he smiled warmly and simply said, “We make about the same.” I got the impression that his income was far higher, which made him somewhat more comfortable in talking with me afterward.

PEGGING STATUS HIERARCHIES IN THE NIXON WHITE HOUSE

Laboratory experiments to study status are pale imitations of the natural social processes that often take months or years to develop. In real-world organizations, the person who has emerged as the boss is likely to be someone who has been groomed for years and has the respect of others within the group. On occasion, an opportunity arises to capture natural conversation among well-known individuals with known levels of status. When this happens, we can begin to see the