The Secret Life of Pronouns_ What Our Words Say About Us - James W. Pennebaker [87]
In speeches, commercials, and brief interactions, it is possible that the words individuals use can influence how their audience perceives them. Our brains do, in fact, register if a speaker is using I or we and react accordingly. And, in fact, if the goal is merely to make a person sound leader-like, then the careful crafting of their words can be effective in the short run.
But, speechwriters, beware. Do you want your presidential candidate to sound presidential or folksy? To sound high status or low status? In both his election campaigns for president, George W. Bush sounded more personal, folksy, and low status than either of his opponents Al Gore or John Kerry. In the 2008 election, Barack Obama’s language was far more presidential and high status than his opponent John McCain’s. The words that the candidates used clearly influenced our perceptions and ultimately our votes.
Note that attaining a leadership position is different from being an effective leader. In most cases, an effective leader is someone who works and interacts with others, who makes decisions that others will agree with. Leadership is not just making speeches. It demands a wide array of thinking and social skills.
Leaders can become more effective by first listening to and analyzing their own language. Think back to the case of John Kerry’s use of we-words in his presidential campaign against George Bush in 2004 described in chapter 2. Recall that his advisers mistakenly believed that if Kerry increased in his use of we-words, he would come across to audiences as more warm and approachable.
Had I been Kerry’s language adviser, I would have first analyzed his speeches and interviews. His high use of we- and you-words and low use of I-words would immediately have signaled that he was trying to sound too presidential, which came across as arrogant. My language therapy would have been to try to change his relationship with the audience and the way he was thinking about himself. He clearly needed to know that his use of we-words was coming across as cold and not authentic.
People can become better leaders by using their words as markers of how they are relating to others. Words are like a speedometer in a car that reflects how fast the car is going. You can’t slow the car by directly affecting the speedometer. Rather, you use the speedometer to gauge your driving. Train a person to become a better driver and their speedometer will follow. Make a potential leader more attentive to their words and the meaning of their words and they can change their relationships with others and become better leaders.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON STATUS, POWER, ARROGANCE, AND LEADERSHIP
That status hierarchies are part of almost every relationship we have is, on a certain level, a bit depressing and threatening. Not only is a pecking order established within minutes of an interaction, but all the parties in the interaction then adopt their linguistic role. Sitting by a person on a plane, meeting a stranger at a party, or being introduced to a colleague in a business meeting triggers each person to see where they stand in the hierarchy compared to the others.
The almost-invisible status competition has been at play since we were young children and will continue to be through old age. Although the existence of social hierarchies may go against our beliefs in democracy and equality, the fast and efficient ways we create pecking orders helps to make all subsequent interactions run more smoothly.
Although the examples used in this chapter have come primarily from projects conducted in English, virtually identical patterns of word use are apparent in Ancient Greek, Arabic, Japanese, and all European languages that we have studied. For example, the characters in the plays of Euripides, writing in the fifth century B.C., use low rates