The Seeker - Isobelle Carmody [92]
“I can deep-probe,” I said.
Christa raised her brows, then she looked at the cat pensively. “You could try. He’s less likely to oppose you. I’m afraid if it goes on much longer, he’ll die of exhaustion. He looks calm enough, but this is pulling him apart.”
I stared down at the battle-scarred old cat, tears pricking my eyes. He looked so vulnerable. He would have hated that. I stroked him, fighting for control.
“Is there no healer free to ease him?” I asked gruffly.
Christa shook her head. “They have done all they can. He’s in no pain.”
“What can I do?” I asked.
“Go into his mind,” she answered. “See what you can find out. Make him wake if you can.”
“I’ve never tried to deep-probe him before. What if he resists? I might hurt him.”
Alad broke in impatiently. “He’ll die if we can’t help him. He is more wild than tame, and you know as well as I that the wild ones are hardest to reach, even in a normal communication. But you must try.”
With a feeling of dread, I sat on the chair beside the bed. I stroked Maruman’s coarse fur gently, willing him to wake. I was repelled by the idea of entering my old friend’s most private mind. I could not have borne such an intrusion myself.
Alad squeezed my shoulder. I bit my lip, then closed my eyes. Loosing a deep-probe tendril gently into the first level, I forced myself to ignore the screaming babble that assaulted me. For a moment, I was swept along like a leaf in the dizzy maelstrom of Maruman’s unconscious mind. I had a fleeting temptation to let myself go but concentrated on Alad’s hand on my shoulder, forcing myself to the next level.
I slipped through effortlessly. Maruman was letting me in.
I drifted deeper, concentrating to avoid the forgetfulness that was one of the greatest dangers inherent to entering an unconscious mind.
Deeper still and suddenly the clamor of the upper levels ceased. It was very quiet and still.
“Maruman,” I whispered. “Maruman?”
I sensed a ripple in the fabric of the cat’s unconscious mind. In a sense, I knew I was inside his dreams. I went deeper still. Again I whispered his name.
This time he responded. “ElspethInnle …”
“Come with me,” I invited, hoping to draw him to the upper levels and wakefulness. I was buffeted gently by his refusal.
“Cannot. Must wait,” he responded.
I was puzzled. “Wait for what?”
“Must wait until Seeker comes.”
This was a name Maruman sometimes called me. More confused than ever, I said, “I am the Seeker.”
“Deeper. Must come deeper,” Maruman responded instantly.
“Why must?” I asked.
“The oldOne wishes it.”
I shivered violently, becoming suddenly conscious of my physical presence in the Healer hall. I forced myself to concentrate, but I was unnerved. It struck me that Maruman had let me in easily, because he had wanted me to enter his deepest mind. Why? I could only know that by slipping deeper, but I was almost at my limit. The desire to rise was powerful, and my energy was running out quickly. Before long, I would have no choice. I would not have the strength to remain. If I wanted to go deeper, I had to do it immediately.
Yet I hesitated.
At the depths of the mind is a great unconscious mindstream. It was into this that the futuretellers dipped for their predictions. Without training, it was possible for a mind to literally dissolve at that depth. And I was already deeper than I had ever gone before.
I braced myself. Fighting an irresistible urge to rise, I pushed my mind lower, fraction by fraction. All at once, the void seemed to brighten, and below, I was aware of the shining silver rush of the mindstream.
Now I felt an opposite tug from the stream, a siren call to merge. My innate fear of losing myself gave me the strength to resist.
“I have come,” I grated.
“Deeper,” Maruman urged. “Must come deeper.”
I was truly frightened now, for it was possible Maruman did not realize the danger. I hesitated and felt myself begin to rise. Then I clamped on my