The Shadow Wife - Diane Chamberlain [88]
“In her condition,” Liam finished the sentence for her. “You know that she’s pregnant?”
“Yes, I know,” she said, and she was eyeing him so intently that he was afraid to ask her his next question.
“Do you know if it…if the baby…”
“It’s yours,” she said bluntly.
He looked away from her, shaking his head. “Man, oh, man,” he said, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Well, I think she had a few very good reasons,” she said. “At least, they seemed good to her. One, she knew you’ve been overwhelmed dealing with your wife and son. And two, you haven’t…been inviting her to share much with you lately, have you?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” He looked across the table at the diminutive, gray-haired woman, trying not to turn away from her penetrating blue eyes.
“You’ve been pushing her away,” Carlynn said.
“I haven’t been pushing her away,” he said, but he knew she was right. He sank lower into the chair. “Maybe I have. I’m angry at both of us for what happened. We can’t let it happen again.”
“It happened. Guilt does no one any good.”
He studied her for a moment. “Is Joelle losing her mind?” he asked. “What on earth can she possibly think you can do for my wife?”
“Mara belongs to Joelle as well as to you, Liam,” Carlynn said. “They were extremely close friends, and Joelle suffered a loss as great as your own. She needs to grieve in her own way. If bringing me in helps her, I don’t understand why you should object.”
“Because I don’t believe there’s anything you can do to help my wife,” he said, biting off the words. “I think…what you’re all about is a…a crock of bull. Sorry. But that’s what I think.”
She looked unoffended by his words. “I’m not a quack, Liam,” she said. “Not a charlatan. The truth is, sometimes I can help, and sometimes I can’t. Often, the help doesn’t come in the form we expect it to.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean, that sometimes getting well, physically well, is not the true goal of healing.”
“Then what the hell is the point of it?”
Carlynn Shire stood up and rested her hands on the table, leaning toward him. “Do you love Joelle, Liam?”
He felt his jaw tighten at the intrusiveness of the question. “That really isn’t any of your business.”
She didn’t respond, but didn’t let him loose of her gaze, either.
“It doesn’t matter if I do,” he said.
“Do me a favor, Liam,” she said, sitting down again. “Describe Joelle to me.”
“You already seem to know her very well,” he said.
“I want to hear your description of her, though,” she pressed him. “I want to see her through your eyes.”
He sighed. Why was he giving this woman so much control over him?
“She’s very capable,” he said. “Compassionate. Caring. Ethical.”
“Moral?”
“Yes, absolutely. And so am I,” he insisted. “We didn’t plan this to happen, Mrs…. Dr…. Shire. We didn’t mean it to happen.” God, that sounded trite.
“I know,” she said. “Go on.”
He sighed again, giving in. “She’s nurturing.” He could see Joelle, back in the days when their friendship had been close and warm, sitting across the cafeteria table from him. She’d looked girlish, with that long thick dark hair and heavy bangs above her brown eyes. “Very cute,” he said. “And open. Extremely open, especially with me.” He shook his head. “It’s hard to understand how she could have kept this from me. She tells me everything.”
“Used to tell you everything,” Carlynn Shire corrected him. “She didn’t ever want you to know about the baby. She planned to leave before you found out.”
“Leave?” He frowned. “You mean, leave Silas Memorial?”
“No, leave Monterey,” she said. “Leave her life here. Have the baby someplace else so you would never have to be burdened by it.”
He frowned. “I can’t believe she would leave without telling me about…”
“I believe,” she said gently, “that you’ve treated her like an evil person. Like someone you need to avoid.”
He started to object, but she was right, wasn’t she? If he avoided Joelle, he could avoid