THE SILVER SHILLING [1]
worthless. In the
eyes of the world, a man is valued just according to the opinion
formed of him. It must be a shocking thing to have a guilty
conscience, and to be sneaking about on account of wicked deeds. As
for me, innocent as I was, I could not help shuddering before their
eyes whenever they brought me out, for I knew I should be thrown
back again up the table as a false pretender. At length I was paid
away to a poor old woman, who received me as wages for a hard day's
work. But she could not again get rid of me; no one would take me. I
was to the woman a most unlucky shilling. 'I am positively obliged
to pass this shilling to somebody,' said she; 'I cannot, with the best
intentions, lay by a bad shilling. The rich baker shall have it,- he
can bear the loss better than I can. But, after all, it is not a right
thing to do.'
"'Ah!' sighed I to myself, 'am I also to be a burden on the
conscience of this poor woman? Am I then in my old days so
completely changed?' The woman offered me to the rich baker, but he
knew the current money too well, and as soon as he received me he
threw me almost in the woman's face. She could get no bread for me,
and I felt quite grieved to the heart that I should be cause of so
much trouble to another, and be treated as a cast-off coin. I who,
in my young days, felt so joyful in the certainty of my own value, and
knew so well that I bore a genuine stamp. I was as sorrowful now as
a poor shilling can be when nobody will have him. The woman took me
home again with her, and looking at me very earnestly, she said,
'No, I will not try to deceive any one with thee again. I will bore
a hole through thee, that everyone may know that thou art a false
and worthless thing; and yet, why should I do that? Very likely thou
art a lucky shilling. A thought has just struck me that it is so,
and I believe it. Yes, I will make a hole in the shilling,' said
she, 'and run a string through it, and then give it to my neighbor's
little one to hang round her neck, as a lucky shilling.' So she
drilled a hole through me.
"It is really not at all pleasant to have a hole bored through
one, but we can submit to a great deal when it is done with a good
intention. A string was drawn through the hole, and I became a kind of
medal. They hung me round the neck of a little child, and the child
laughed at me and kissed me, and I rested for one whole night on the
warm, innocent breast of a child.
"In the morning the child's mother took me between her fingers,
and had certain thoughts about me, which I very soon found out. First,
she looked for a pair of scissors, and cut the string.
"'Lucky shilling!' said she, 'certainly this is what I mean to
try.' Then she laid me in vinegar till I became quite green, and after
that she filled up the hole with cement, rubbed me a little to
brighten me up, and went out in the twilight hour to the lottery
collector, to buy herself a ticket, with a shilling that should
bring luck. How everything seemed to cause me trouble. The lottery
collector pressed me so hard that I thought I should crack. I had been
called false, I had been thrown away,- that I knew; and there were
many shillings and coins with inscriptions and stamps of all kinds
lying about. I well knew how proud they were, so I avoided them from
very shame. With the collector were several men who seemed to have a
great deal to do, so I fell unnoticed into a chest, among several
other coins.
"Whether the lottery ticket gained a prize, I know not; but this I
know, that in a very few days after, I was recognized as a bad
shilling, and laid aside. Everything that happened seemed always to
add to my sorrow. Even if a man has a good character, it is of no
use for him to deny what is said of him, for he is not considered an
impartial judge of himself.
"A year passed, and in this way I had been changed from hand to
hand; always abused, always looked at with displeasure, and trusted by
no one; but
eyes of the world, a man is valued just according to the opinion
formed of him. It must be a shocking thing to have a guilty
conscience, and to be sneaking about on account of wicked deeds. As
for me, innocent as I was, I could not help shuddering before their
eyes whenever they brought me out, for I knew I should be thrown
back again up the table as a false pretender. At length I was paid
away to a poor old woman, who received me as wages for a hard day's
work. But she could not again get rid of me; no one would take me. I
was to the woman a most unlucky shilling. 'I am positively obliged
to pass this shilling to somebody,' said she; 'I cannot, with the best
intentions, lay by a bad shilling. The rich baker shall have it,- he
can bear the loss better than I can. But, after all, it is not a right
thing to do.'
"'Ah!' sighed I to myself, 'am I also to be a burden on the
conscience of this poor woman? Am I then in my old days so
completely changed?' The woman offered me to the rich baker, but he
knew the current money too well, and as soon as he received me he
threw me almost in the woman's face. She could get no bread for me,
and I felt quite grieved to the heart that I should be cause of so
much trouble to another, and be treated as a cast-off coin. I who,
in my young days, felt so joyful in the certainty of my own value, and
knew so well that I bore a genuine stamp. I was as sorrowful now as
a poor shilling can be when nobody will have him. The woman took me
home again with her, and looking at me very earnestly, she said,
'No, I will not try to deceive any one with thee again. I will bore
a hole through thee, that everyone may know that thou art a false
and worthless thing; and yet, why should I do that? Very likely thou
art a lucky shilling. A thought has just struck me that it is so,
and I believe it. Yes, I will make a hole in the shilling,' said
she, 'and run a string through it, and then give it to my neighbor's
little one to hang round her neck, as a lucky shilling.' So she
drilled a hole through me.
"It is really not at all pleasant to have a hole bored through
one, but we can submit to a great deal when it is done with a good
intention. A string was drawn through the hole, and I became a kind of
medal. They hung me round the neck of a little child, and the child
laughed at me and kissed me, and I rested for one whole night on the
warm, innocent breast of a child.
"In the morning the child's mother took me between her fingers,
and had certain thoughts about me, which I very soon found out. First,
she looked for a pair of scissors, and cut the string.
"'Lucky shilling!' said she, 'certainly this is what I mean to
try.' Then she laid me in vinegar till I became quite green, and after
that she filled up the hole with cement, rubbed me a little to
brighten me up, and went out in the twilight hour to the lottery
collector, to buy herself a ticket, with a shilling that should
bring luck. How everything seemed to cause me trouble. The lottery
collector pressed me so hard that I thought I should crack. I had been
called false, I had been thrown away,- that I knew; and there were
many shillings and coins with inscriptions and stamps of all kinds
lying about. I well knew how proud they were, so I avoided them from
very shame. With the collector were several men who seemed to have a
great deal to do, so I fell unnoticed into a chest, among several
other coins.
"Whether the lottery ticket gained a prize, I know not; but this I
know, that in a very few days after, I was recognized as a bad
shilling, and laid aside. Everything that happened seemed always to
add to my sorrow. Even if a man has a good character, it is of no
use for him to deny what is said of him, for he is not considered an
impartial judge of himself.
"A year passed, and in this way I had been changed from hand to
hand; always abused, always looked at with displeasure, and trusted by
no one; but