The Sky's the Limit - Marco Palmieri [144]
The scene of death was replaced by the haggard image of Kirsten Dell’Orso. “Looks like we’re the last ones standing, Captain Picard.”
“Indeed. Do you require any assistance?”
Batting a lock of dark hair out of her sweat-streaked face, Dell’Orso said, “We’re fine, but we’re also picking up three escape pods near the debris of the Grissom.”
“Confirmed,” Data said. “Reading six life signs.”
“My chief engineer’s having a fit as it is. I’d rather not add maneuvering in that mess to her worries.”
“Of course. We’ll take care of it, Captain.”
To the conn, Will said, “Ensign Perim, set a course for those pods. Lieutenant Daniels, ready tractor beam.”
“Speaking of tractor beams,” Dell’Orso said, “that was a nice trick you pulled with the Elokar’s warp core.” She let out a breath, puffing her cheeks. “I’m really glad you guys were assigned to this detail. Without you, the Zaldans’d be brushing up on the Vorta’s language by now. Thanks to you, we won.”
I thought about six people who were the only survivors of a ship of twelve hundred, and five other ships that didn’t have as many as six survivors, and I shook my head.
“This does not feel like victory.”
The day after what was already being referred to as the Battle of Ricktor Prime, I stood outside Deanna’s office, feeling a fool.
The bridge of the Enterprise had not felt right of late. That was due in part to two who were missing. One was Worf, now serving on Deep Space 9. Still, Padraig Daniels had been serving more than adequately at tactical since the Enterprise-E’s earliest days.
However, it was the other person missing who concerned me at present: Counselor Deanna Troi. She still served on the Enterprise, of course, but she spent comparatively little time by my side on the bridge. Instead, her presence was required most often either in her office or in sickbay with Doctor Crusher, tending to those who needed her aid.
The doors parted, and Ensign Lobato, one of Commander La Forge’s engineers, came out. She nodded, said, “Captain,” and continued down the corridor.
Deanna was sitting in her chair, reading a padd. She didn’t look up when the doors closed behind me, as she probably thought they were closing on Lobato. But then she looked up, her face brightening. “Captain! I wasn’t expecting you.”
I gamely attempted a smile of my own. “I would have thought you’d have sensed me coming.”
She set the padd down. “Lately, I’ve taken to putting up mental barriers. The emotions of the crew are very strong under these circumstances, and…” She trailed off, but I understood.
Indicating her patients’ chair, I asked, “May I?”
“Is this a session?”
I hesitated. “Perhaps an informal one. I suppose—” Another hesitation. “I suppose I have grown accustomed to having you by my side.”
“You know my door is always open to you, Captain. What’s troubling you?”
“Is it that obvious?”
She smirked. “Perhaps not to the crew, but I know you a bit better.”
Nodding, I said, “I’ve been thinking back over yesterday’s battle. When hostilities with the Dominion started to flare up, I was, naturally, concerned that war would be the eventual result—particularly once Cardassia joined the Dominion. I promised myself that I would never get so…so jaded that I would take pleasure in the taking of another life. It was easy at first—we very rarely were sent to the front lines, after all. Starfleet preferred to hold us in reserve, use us for more diplomatic assignments. But now…”
Deanna hardly needed me to finish the sentence. She’d been on board for all our missions, from the relatively sedate mission to Evora to the liberation of her homeworld of Betazed. “Now you find you haven’t been able to fulfill that promise.”
“No,” I said in a whisper. “When Lieutenant Daniels used the Cardassian warp core to destroy the Jem’Hadar ship, I was glad. I was almost immediately ashamed, but at the moment of impact, I felt joy at the deaths of the Jem’Hadar who destroyed the Grissom. I knew her captain,” I added, realizing that I was anthropomorphizing again. “She