The Spinoza of Market Street - Isaac Bashevis Singer [60]
"But how did you become a whore?"
"How did you become a horse thief? Little by little. A young fellow promises to lead you under the bridal canopy. Then he tells you to go and whistle."
"Who was the first one?"
"A teacher's helper."
"A teacher's helper, eh? And then?"
"He went away, and that was the last of him. Try and find a teacher's helper in God's world. After him came a tailor's assistant, and after the tailor, a hat-maker. When a girl loses her virtue, she is anybody's game. Whoever wants to, has the use of her. A bridal canopy is only a few lengths of velvet and four posts. But without it, a girl is less than the dirt under your nail."
"We know that. When did you enter a brothel?"
"When I got a belly full."
"And what happened there?"
"What could happen there? Nothing."
"And the child, what became of it?"
"It was left on the church steps."
"One child?"
"Three."
"And then what?"
"Nothing."
"This is no story."
"The story comes later."
"What happened?"
"I'm ashamed to tell it before Reb Leibush."
"What? But he's sleeping."
"He fell asleep?"
"Don't you hear him snoring?"
"Yes. But he was talking just now!"
"At his age you can talk one minute, doze off the next, and a minute later you make bye-bye, and it's all over. And with me you don't have to feel ashamed."
"No."
"Let's hear it, then."
"I'm afraid the women are listening."
"They're sleeping like the dead. Talk quietly. I am not deaf."
"There are times when you want to talk. I was already in Warsaw at that time. I was with a madam. She had three of us, and I was the prettiest. Don't look at me today. I am a broken vessel. I have no legs, my hair is gone, my teeth are gone. I am an old scarecrow. But in my young days I was a beauty. The queen! That's what they called me. People could not look into my face--it dazzled like the sun. Whenever a guest had me, he never wanted anyone else. The other two stood at the gate all night, but I sat on my bed and they came to me as if I were a doctor. The madam had a tongue like a whip, but when she spoke to me, it was as through a silken cloth. I had a fiancé--that's what we called them--Yankel, and he was crazy about me. He bought me whatever I wanted. If the madam said an unkind word to me, right away he'd pull the knife out of his boot. He was a wild one, too. A guest is a guest, after all. But suddenly he'd get jealous. He'd grab the man by the collar and throw him down the whole flight of stairs, if he just dared to kiss me. The madam would yell murder, but he'd yell back: 'Shut up, or I'll knock out all your teeth.' He wanted to marry me, too, but his years were short. He caught the smallpox and was covered with blisters all over. They took him in an ambulance to the hospital, and there they poisoned everybody."
"Poisoned? Why?"
"Just so."
"And then what?"
"He died and was buried. After that my luck changed. I was taken over by another fellow, but that one had only money on his mind. Sender was his name, Senderl the Bum. He did not care for me, and I did not care for him. When the madam saw that things were going badly with me, she began to lord it over me. I could not run away because I had a yellow passport. And where can our kind escape? Only to the grave. The madam began to abuse me, and the other two sluts made my life miserable. A woman must have someone to protect her, or else she's nine feet deep in trouble.
"Once in two weeks we had our day off. When Yankel was alive, he used to take me everywhere. We even drove out in a droshky. He bought me chocolates, marmalade,