The Spirit Stone - Katharine Kerr [152]
‘I’ve got to try.’
‘Even though you’ll likely wander in the forest till you starve? Or worse yet, what about the silver wyrm? You’ll have to leave the forest to reach Zakh Gral. We may not know why he hates you, but he undeniably does, and what if he’s waiting for you? Snap snap! No more Sisi.’
Sidro felt herself go limp, sincerely this time. Laz released her and stepped back. She turned to face him and began rubbing her aching arms.
‘It’s Lakanza,’ Sidro said. ‘She’s been so good to me. How can I just let her die?’
‘Do you think the army’s going to kill an old woman? If she were a man, now, or a young woman, who knows what they’d do to her, but Lijik warriors have a sentimental streak when it comes to crones.’
Sidro considered him. He set his hands on his hips, cocked his head to one side, and looked straight at her, so openly that she knew he was telling the truth for a change.
‘They might not kill her on purpose, perhaps,’ Sidro said. ‘But in a battle—’
‘Well, there you have a point.’ Laz paused for a smirk. ‘But I thought all of your holy fools were eager to die for Alshandra. What’s that you call it? Witnessing?’
‘Just that. But now that I know—’ Sidro caught herself on the verge of an admission she hated to make.
‘Now that you know what?’ His smirk vanished. ‘What were you going to say?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Something, I forget what.’
‘This time you’re the one who’s lying. Now that you know what?’
Caught by a wave of exhaustion, Sidro leaned back against the edge of the table. ‘Now that I know Alshandra’s not a goddess,’ she whispered. ‘Damn you, Laz! You’ve destroyed everything I loved so much, my vows, my faith, and now Zakh Gral.’
‘Don’t blame me for Zakh Gral! The Lijik Ganda are the ones trying to bring it down. What makes you so sure they’re going to succeed?’
Hope—one sweet note of it—sang in her heart. ‘That’s true, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘They’ve not finished building it yet, the fortress I mean, but we’ve got enough men there to stand a siege. More are supposed to arrive, too, though I’m not sure when. The rakzanir were always talking about reinforcements coming from Braemel.’
‘And surely they’ve got sentries out east of the river. I’m only a filthy depraved outlaw, but even I know enough to have my men keep a watch.’
‘That’s true, isn’t it? Of course they do.’
‘You see? You’ve been wallowing in unnecessary despair. Don’t mourn Zakh Gral just yet, Sisi my love. It’s quite capable of defending itself. Unfortunately.’
She grabbed the plate and slung it straight for his head. He ducked, twisted, and caught it with his right hand. With a wince and a curse he dropped it onto the bed.
‘I hope that hurts,’ Sidro said. ‘I hope I broke half the bones in your hand.’
‘Very nearly.’ Laz was concentrating on examining the hand in question. ‘But not quite.’
‘What a pity!’
‘I’ve never seen you so angry before.’ He looked up with a twisted grin. ‘Which is odd, considering how often you’ve raged at me over the years.’
‘You get more infuriating the longer I know you.’
‘Ah, I see. But you know, just because I do love you, I’m not going to tie you up to keep you here. If you want to go back to Zakh Gral, go. I’ll have Pir take you back to Alshandra’s road, while I stay here, moaning and rubbing ashes in my hair to mourn your imminent demise by dragon fang.’
‘Oh hold your rotten tongue, will you? How can I go back now, knowing what I know? If it weren’t for Lakanza, I wouldn’t even want to, I suppose. I wish I could beg Alshandra to keep her safe, like I used to, when I believed.’
‘Are you going to weep? You’ll feel better.’
‘I can’t even do that. I’m too tired.’ With a sigh she sat down on the nearer tree stump.
Laz knelt beside her and laid a gentle hand on her thigh. She laid her hand over his, but she found it too difficult to look him in the face.
‘Tell me something, Laz. If Alshandra wasn’t a goddess, what was she? There are all those old stories of miracles. Surely they can’t all be lies. Was she just a sorceress?’
‘No. As far as I can tell, she