The Stranger - Max Frei [131]
“Do you understand?” Sir Kofa asked Melifaro. “That’s an answer to all your questions at once.”
“I couldn’t give a flying buttress,” Melifaro announced dreamily. “I’ve had my drink and all is well. You can go to the Magicians with your terrible mysteries. Even without them, life is wonderful. Oh, by the way, since Sir Shurf is here with us—do you still think that I was making fun of you both, O Bloodthirsty Monster? Sir Max, I’m talking to you!”
“Of course,” I said indifferently. “But I didn’t give a flying buttress, as you expressed it, either.”
“Then you absolutely must meet my father, who will give you evidence of my innocence. Sir Juffin, can you possibly do without us both at the same time? At least for one day?”
“What would I need you for? Get out of my sight this instant, if you wish,” Juffin said. “But just one day, mind you! Agreed? Sir Kofa, Sir Shurf, get used to the idea that tomorrow the two of you alone will answer for the safety and security of the Unified Kingdom. And tonight—only Kurush. Right, my friend?” Juffin stroked the bird’s fluffy little cap of feathers tenderly. “As for me, I intend to sleep for a whole day and night. Lady Melamori is probably already sipping expensive wine under the watchful supervision of her uncle. These two are planning an outing to the country to terrorize cats. We’re a pretty pack of Secret Investigators, bulwark against threats to our society’s well-being. It can’t be denied.”
“Well, how about it, Max?” Melifaro said, turning to me. “We’ll leave tonight, and get there in a few hours. If you’re at the levers of the amobiler, we’ll get there in one. Fresh country air, heaps of good food, and my Pa. It will be something, believe me. And Mama’s a treat, too.”
“Heaps of food, Papa, and Mama,” I repeated in rapture. “That sounds perfect. And a fast drive sounds even better. You’re a genius, Melifaro! I’m forever in your debt. Thank you, Juffin. You’re both lifesavers.”
I wasn’t exaggerating. A change of scenery was exactly what I needed just now. I hadn’t dared dream I would be lucky enough to get it.
“Well, shall we go?”
Melifaro was already dancing in the doorway in anticipation. He didn’t like sitting in one spot for very long, especially after a plan of action had been laid down.
“Yes, yes. Juffin, tell me, am I required to wear these rags of baleful splendor wherever I go?”
I meant, of course, the Mantle of Death. Not the most appropriate attire for a jaunt to the country.
“No. You only have to wear it within the city limits,” Juffin said acerbically. “But I thought you liked your little uniform.”
“I do like it. I’m just afraid the chickens out there will stop laying eggs from fright. Did I say something wrong?”
“Oh my gosh, another mystery!” Melifaro exclaimed wringing his hands. “Max, a hole in the heavens above, what on earth are ‘chickens’? Only turkeys lay eggs. Take it from a country boy!”
While Melifaro looked over my apartment in bewilderment, trying to understand whether it was asceticism or stinginess that had inspired me to settle down there, I cuddled with Armstrong and Ella, delighting in their throaty purrs and murmuring whatever banal endearments came into my head.
Then I went up to the bedroom and rummaged around in the closet until I found some duds that more or less corresponded to my foggy notions of the requirements country living. I went back down to the living room with a half-empty weekend bag in tow.
“I’m ready. I’m afraid you’ve gotten a sad impression of my way of life. I can’t do anything to change it. I love tenement living!”
“What do you mean? It’s great here!” Melifaro cried, brushing off my remark. “No frivolous extras. A real den for a lone hero. Truly, Max, it’s very romantic.”
“Shall we have a drink for the road? I’m the most inhospitable host in the whole darn town. Actually, I don’t have anything to offer you, unless we decide to go out to the Sated Skeleton.”
“I took all we needed from the Ministry. Drink, kamra, and everything