The Stranger - Max Frei [222]
“And you, Juffin, how long has it been since you were there?”
“A very long time. I seriously doubt whether I’ll ever go back. I have neither family nor friends in Kettari anymore, so I have neither ties of tenderness, nor obligation to this dot on the map, and I am not at all sentimental. In this I resemble you, by the way. But that’s not really why I don’t want to go there. I feel there’s some sort of inner ban on my returning there. I know that not only do I not need to go to Kettari—I shouldn’t. And my experiences witness to the fact that an inner ban is the only authentic kind. Are you familiar with that feeling, Max?”
I fiddled with the cigarette butt pensively.
“I think I know what you mean. A genuine inner ban is a thing of great power. Only I often can’t distinguish it from the other inner stuff: self-defeating, paranoid thoughts, superstitions, habits of mind.”
“Don’t fret about that. Emotional clarity is something that comes with time. Now then, back to the matter at hand. A few years ago, a bizarre chain of events began to unfold. In this very office, two fugitives from the law showed up. One of them kept shouting maniacally that they wanted to turn themselves in to Mr. Venerable Head personally. The other didn’t say a word, just stared at the same spot the entire time. They had been sent to the City Police Department for some trifling offense and had been able to escape the guards, which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Considering the chaos that reigns in Boboota’s office, I’d say it was predictable, if not inevitable.
“One of the fugitives, someone by the name of Motti Fara, turned out to be a countryman of mine. Like me, he hadn’t been in Kettari for quite some time—since the beginning of the Code Epoch, at least. When he got into trouble, he decided that his native city wasn’t the worst place to hide from the police of the Capital. So the two of them set off for Kettari. And got lost.”
“And that seemed too unlikely to you, right?” I asked, and added knowingly, “Maybe your countryman just had something wrong with his head? That happens sometimes, you know.”
“My countryman did not strike me as an idiot,” Juffin said drily. “In my humble opinion, Mr. Fara had quite enough intelligence to make it back to his hometown. But nothing came of it. After that failure, the fugitives returned to the Capital. Instead of hiding, they went straight to the House by the Bridge, which in itself is quite improbable, and started begging for a meeting with me. My curiosity did not allow me to ignore their request—people don’t often commit such foolhardy acts.”
“Oh, yes they do,” I murmured. “Even worse ones.”
“You’re right, for the most part,” Juffin smiled. “But for us, natives of Kettari, pragmatism is in the blood. Pay attention now; the best is yet to come. Don’t let your mind wander.”
“I’m sorry, Juffin. I don’t seem to be very cheerful, today.”
“That’s an understatement, if I’ve ever heard one. You’ve been so lacking in spirits lately that it’s nauseating just to look at you!” the chief said with a sigh.
Then he got up from his chair, came up to me, and tugged at my ear. It made me feel so awkward that I began to laugh nervously. When I stopped laughing, I realized with amazement that my mood really had noticeably improved. Even my broken heart felt like it had been reassembled.
“You deserve a break,” Juffin said. I felt his heavy hand on my shoulder. “It’s my little gift to you. To be honest, everything that is happening to you, you’ll have to come to terms with yourself, without anyone else’s help. But one can stray from any rule—if not too long, or too far. All the more since I need all your attention right now, not pathetic little shreds of it. Right-o?”
I nodded silently, delighting in the absence of the familiar gnawing pain