The Stranger - Max Frei [227]
“What’s gotten into you, Max?” the chief asked. “Of course you will pass yourselves off as a married couple. Married couples are the most frequent travelers to Kettari. They mix the pleasant with the practical; the purchase of carpets with shared relaxation and rest. If a woman with an accent like yours joins the caravan, everyone just assumes she’s from your part of the World. Why shouldn’t an upright citizen marry a lady from the Barren Lands? In Echo we love the exotic. You won’t inspire any doubts, and everything will work out just fine. And don’t look at me like I’m an executioner. Why are you so alarmed?”
I couldn’t explain why myself. Most likely, some slumbering prejudices had been awakened in me. If a man dressed up in women’s clothes, it meant he had some issues. Although the clothes themselves wouldn’t really pose a problem, I considered. In Echo the attire of men and women is so similar, the differences so minimal, that I still couldn’t distinguish a woman’s looxi from a man’s at that point.
“I don’t know what to say. I just feel rather awkward.”
“I see nothing in the least awkward about it. Good night, Sir Kofa.”
I turned around to look. There in the doorway was Sir Kofa Yox, our Master Eavesdropper, and the unsurpassed master of masquerade. He was carrying a sizable parcel.
“This sweet lad does not want to become a girl at all,” Juffin told him in a thin voice. “What do you think, Kofa, shall we overpower him, just the two of us, or call for assistance?”
Sir Kofa bestowed a patronizing smile on us both and hoisted his burden onto the table.
“Are you going to do it right now?” I asked plaintively. “Maybe you’ll let me go out for a little walk first?”
I was always assaulted by thoughts like this in the dentist’s chair. I wanted to dash off and come back “tomorrow”—that is to say, never.
“You’ve had your little walk,” said Juffin. “Listen, Max, it’s just ordinary dressing up. Like a carnival! Haven’t you ever been to a carnival?”
“Yes,” I grumbled. “I was six years old, and I dressed up like a rabbit.”
My colleagues hooted with laughter.
“A rabbit? At a carnival? In the Barren Lands!” Sir Kofa moaned. “Boy, do you ever think before you speak?”
I couldn’t help laughing myself.
“All right, come off it, Kofa. I really don’t have much experience of carnivals, so . . .”
“That’s better,” said Juffin. “Say, maybe you thought that we were going to turn you into a real woman? And that you’d have to fulfill your marital duties?”
“It wouldn’t have surprised me.”
“Don’t worry, son. For one thing, although making a woman out of a man and vice-versa is possible, Kofa and I aren’t powerful enough wizards to accomplish it. Sir Maba probably could, though. Well, no; even that’s unlikely. Why would he want to? I wouldn’t be surprised if Lady Sotofa could manage it. I’ll have to ask her.”
“And another thing; Sir Lonli-Lokli would never cheat on his wife with such a skinny, broad-shouldered alien. Praise be the Magicians, Shurf’s got sense when it comes to women.”
“What nonsense you’re talking, Juffin! Why ‘skinny’ and ‘broad-shouldered’? We’re going to end up with a very pretty girl, you’ll see,” Sir Kofa objected with the air of expert whose pride had been hurt.
He was already unpacking his parcel. I looked with horror as he pulled out some reddish curls—my future wig, no doubt! Juffin saw the expression on my face and burst out laughing again.
“We decided to do this early so you’d have time to get used to it,” Sir Kofa said compassionately. “I’ve dressed up as a woman many times. Oh, yes, you remember our first meeting at the Glutton! You see, women have a different bearing and posture, different gestures. They respond to things differently. Four days isn’t much, but you’re a quick learner. If anything, you’ll just pass for a damsel with a few eccentricities. And don’t worry, all the changes in your appearance are only temporary. By the way, Juffin, how long will he have to be in Kettari? I need to know.”
“Let me think. The journey there takes three days. In Kettari