The Stranger - Max Frei [270]
After I had started to relax, I examined Shurf’s handwritten list. He eagerly scooted closer to me.
“Well, this is nothing very exciting. Just a female dog. And this . . . how should I say it, Shurf—a man who is undeserving of respect and who has some serious problems with the plumbing in his backside. It’s a word that describes stupid people, although the root is directly connected to the process of reproduction.”
“Oh, that’s an entire science,” Lonli-Lokli said respectfully. “In my opinion it’s very hard to understand how it works.”
“Really? I never thought so. It’s fairly simple. Well, shall we go on?”
“Certainly.”
“Very well. Now this expression may be used interchangeably with the straightforward human expression ‘go away,’ but it makes the one on the receiving end doubt his own ability to procreate. And this is a kind of animal, and at the same time a man who is undeserving of respect, and who has problems with his back passage—”
“And what kinds of problems are they that beset the poor man?”
“It’s hard to say,” I muttered, frustrated. “Magicians be praised, nothing like that ever happened to me.”
In about fifteen minutes we had come to the end of the list. Toward the end I was inclined to blush; but Sir Lonli-Lokli was happy, and that was the main thing.
“I’ll probably go home to bed, if you don’t have any other plans for tonight,” my friend suggested uncertainly.
We had just left the cozy little tavern, and I was feverishly trying to think of a way to make my escape. I had an appointment to keep at the Down Home Diner with Sir Mackie Ainti.
“Sure, Shurf,” I said, secretly relieved. “I do have plans tonight, but—”
“I understand. It’s better this way. Since I came to after trying that strange herb, all I want to do is sleep.”
“All the better. Sweet sleep is an excellent thing. By the way, I really hope you weren’t terribly shocked by the cursing.”
“Why are you so worried, Max?” Lonli-Lokli asked, surprised. “Words are just that—words, and nothing more. Even if you had said them in a conscious state, I would have considered the situation to be more amusing than alarming.”
“You’ve taken a load off my chest! In that case, good night, Sir Shurf. I hope it won’t be three or four days before I return. After our meal I have just a little more than two crowns left. Here, you take one. At least we won’t starve.”
“I also hope I see you in the morning,” said Lonli-Lokli. “Thank you, Max. You are demonstrating enviable foresight.”
I didn’t even have to look at the map. I remembered the way to the Down Home Diner, although it was unusual for me not to be disoriented in an unfamiliar town. Soon I had arrived at the intersection of High Street and Fisheye Street. I had already heard the gurgling of the fountain several blocks away.
Sir Mackie was sitting in the same place, hunched over the Kettarian version of chess, as before. He was the only one in the hall.
“Welcome, partner,” he said, turning to me. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d go that far.”
“What do you mean?” I was taken aback.
“Stop pulling my leg. All right, all right—I just want to say that you cook up Worlds like nobody’s business. I wish I could do it so easily. True, you didn’t actually realize what you were doing, and so forfeited the lion’s share of pleasure. But that’s just a temporary hitch.”
I drew in a sharp breath. “Do you mean to say that this city of my dreams wasn’t there before? I was the one who—”
“Sit down and take a breather, Max. You seem to have several primitive, but extremely effective ways of making yourself relax. Go ahead. Hellika!”
The smiling tavernkeeper appeared at his table instantly. Rather than sitting down with Sir Mackie, I went over to the place I had been sitting the first time. Mackie stopped his solitary game and came over to join me. Judging by the expression on his face, I had done the right thing.
“Hellika, sweetheart, this boy wants the same thing he had last time. As usual, I don’t need a thing, to my great consternation.”
She nodded and vanished. I shrugged. Another miracle, big