The Stranger - Max Frei [294]
“No,” Lonli-Lokli said. “We just think that your backside alone will be more than enough to wipe the dust off the chairs of our side of the Ministry. And Max and I will be doing just about the same thing, but in another place. I deeply regret that your working schedule won’t allow you to accompany us to the Glutton at this time of day.” He turned to me. “Let’s hurry, Max, before something does happen. You’re too lucky in attracting adventures.”
Melifaro’s mouth fell open. The airy monologue of the deadpan Lonli-Lokli, the last bastion of seriousness in our small, zany organization, was too much for him.
“Where’s our good old Lomki-Lonki? What did you do to him at that resort town, Max? Cast a spell on him? Admit it, you beast you!”
“There’s nothing to admit. I just gave him a piece of my mind a few times and swore at him like it was going out of style. Right, Shurf?” I winked at Lonli-Lokli. “I’ll have to try the same thing on this fellow here. Who knows what kinds of transformations—”
“Yes, Max, that was some first-rate cussing you did there,” Shurf said with an air of nostalgia. “As for Melifaro, I think you might want to give it a try in his presence. Maybe after that he’ll finally learn my name. You must do it soon. In the interests of civic peace and social tranquility.”
And we left proudly, the two most fearsome people in the Unified Kingdom, I in the Mantle of Death, and Shurf in the Garments of Truth—a veritable double-edged sword.
An hour later we returned, and Melifaro forced us to go over the whole thing again.
“Come on, what did you do to Loki-Lonki, Mr. Bad Dream?”
Poor Melifaro, the best investigator in all this World, kept on trying to get to the bottom of this unyielding mystery. I even started feeling sorry for him. It had been so long since I had had my own secrets, though. These days I was always trying to uncover the secrets of other people.
“I’ve told you the honest truth, friend. Shurf tried to wake me up, and I let him have it. Then I just about died with shame. But everything blew over, as you can see. Maybe my cursing worked like a spell.”
“What exactly did you tell him?” Melifaro prodded incredulously.
“I don’t remember. Ask him yourself. He took notes on my performance, and then demanded that I translate the meaning of some very colorful and exotic words.”
“He took notes? Well, Max, you’ve put my mind at ease. It’s not all that bad. Only good old Shurf is capable of writing down all the filth people say to him in good conscience. To broaden his horizons. Yes, that means everything is fine.”
Juffin was already waiting for me in the office by the time I returned to the House by the Bridge.
“Ta-da!” I exclaimed from the doorway. “I completely forgot! You asked me to bring you a souvenir from your homeland.” I drew the crumpled parcel from the pocket of the Mantle of Death. “I decided to give you the thing that moved me more than all the other Kettarian wonders. Don’t be offended.”
“Offended? Why should I get offended, Max?” I noticed with astonishment that Juffin was sniffing the package and inhaling its unbearable stench with downright pleasure. “Oh, I understand. You know nothing about real delicacies, son!” Sir Juffin carefully unwrapped the parcel and bit off a piece in delight. “You wanted to laugh at the old man, didn’t you? You can’t imagine how happy you’ve made me!”
Deep down, I’m not such a scoundrel as I seem. I wasn’t terribly disappointed. If Sir Juffin considers that to be a rare delicacy—well, so much the better.
“Excellent,” I said, and smiled. “The greater are my chances of escaping alive from the clutches of the famous Kettarian Hunter.”
“Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t indulge in false modesty, nor would I get my hopes up. Didn’t Mackie tell you that hope is a foolish sentiment?”
“So you were there with me, Juffin? I knew it, I just knew it!”
“Don’t be silly, Max. I was right here in Echo, and I was engaged in much more important matters than—” He trailed off, but his smile was cunning.
“The