The Stranger - Max Frei [48]
“Then we would have proven that Captain Foofloss was a criminal!” Melamori retorted, smiling her irresistible smile. “You’d be the first to enjoy it.”
“I assure you, I have enough to enjoy without your help. So this is how it’s going to be, Miss. As boredom seems to have addled your brain, you are being sent to Xolomi for three days. There you will help the commandant to study the Secret Archive. I don’t know anyone better than you for getting the job done. Keeping secrets is in your blood. You’ll feel like a prisoner, as well you should! If anything happens here, I’ll send for you. So pray to the Dark Magicians for a bloody crime. Oh yes, and don’t forget to bribe Sir Kamshi. A kiss would be cheaper, but I’d advise you to warm him up with something from your Uncle Kima’s wine cellars. That way you won’t have to make a commitment, and it will certainly surpass even his wildest expectations. Now off to jail you go.”
Lady Melamori rolled her eyes in mock martyrdom. “You see, Max? There you have it: the fist of tyranny! Sending me to Xolomi for three days because of an innocent prank!”
“That’s what you think!” Juffin said with a caustic chuckle. “The old commandant will treat you like royalty. Have you heard about his chef?”
“Yes, and that’s the only reason I haven’t poisoned myself right here in your office.” Melamori stopped short, and added petulantly, “Forgive me, Sir Juffin, but Foofloss is such an idiot. I couldn’t help myself.”
“I’m not surprised in the least!” And with that, Juffin started laughing again.
I had little doubt that in the past Melamori Blimm had gotten away with other, less innocent, pranks.
Before the lovely criminal was whisked off to Xolomi in one of the company amobilers, she whispered to me quickly, “I’m not always like this.” I’d have liked to believe it.
“I am afraid, Sir Max, that today I will have to address you on an official footing,” said Juffin, whose manner had become instantly solemn. “Let me first tell you a bit about Kurush.”
The story of Lady Melamori’s malfeasance had occupied my full attention. Only then did I notice the shaggy owl-like bird, seated on the back of an empty arm chair. The buriwok (and it was definitely a buriwok) deigned to study my personage from on high.
“It’s all right, he’ll do,” the feathered wonder said at long last. As far as I could make out, it was referring to me.
“Thank you, Kurush,” I said. I had wanted to joke, but it came out sounding quite serious. Sir Juffin nodded.
“That means a lot coming from him. If you only knew the things he said about the others!”
“What did you say about the others?” I asked the bird.
“That is classified information,” Kurush answered stolidly. “And you have business to attend to.”
The “business” was that Sir Juffin made me repeat some mumbo-jumbo in an unintelligible language. Apparently, it was a powerful ancient spell that bound me to serve the interests of the crown.
“But I don’t feel a thing,” I said in confusion, having gotten through the tongue-twisting text with some difficulty.
“You aren’t supposed to feel anything. At least, when I said it I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary either. Maybe it’s just an old superstition. Then again, perhaps it does work; who knows? Now get ready. I must read you the Employee’s Code in Kurush’s presence. You don’t have to pay too much attention to it; just try to think about something pleasant. The reading will take some time. Kurush will be able to quote from any chapter, if necessary. Isn’t that right, dear?” Juffin looked tenderly at the buriwok, who in turn swelled with pride.
I won’t take it upon myself to repeat the instructions read to me. In a nutshell, I was told that I should do everything I am supposed to and not do anything that I am not supposed to do. To convey this simple truth, some bored court bureaucrat wasted several