The Stranger - Max Frei [61]
“Better a small fish than an empty dish,” I translated automatically. “I’ll give him your message, Sir Kofa, but I have a feeling Sir Juffin won’t be bored today. I found a little job for him to do . . .”
“Oh, to hell with the robberies, then! They can wait for a rainy day. Have fun, Max. I’m planning to stop in at a few more places on my way home, so if you’ll excuse me.”
I waited around for another half an hour before receiving a message from Juffin. I’m quite fine, except for the bath that awaits me in your tiny tubs. I’ll be out soon, so let’s call over to the Glutton for breakfast.
With great enjoyment I took to fussing over our menu. By the time Juffin arrived, our office had all the qualities of a good restaurant: a splendid centerpiece on the table, tempting aromas, and a hungry gourmet exemplified in my person. Sir Venerable Head was satisfied.
“Allow me to report, sir,” said Juffin, who parodied a new recruit just returned from his first assignment. “The results of the investigative experiment just conducted prove that: a) there is something inhabiting the house opposite, and b) it is scared of me. Or, alternatively, it is disgusted by me. Or finds me unappetizing. Or it subscribes to the Echo Hustle and Bustle and is an admiring and devoted fan. In any case, no one so much as touched a hair on my head. No, it was more amusing than that. At first, I dreamed I was lying on that dinner table of yours; but it lasted for only a second. Then I stopped dreaming. All at once there was nothing. I was free as a bird and I could sleep for as long as I wished! But I wouldn’t let myself off the hook. I tried to close in on our mysterious friend myself. He had already surrounded himself with such unassailable defenses that inside that worthy mansion I wasn’t able to find anyone except its owners, who were fast asleep. Still, we did find out something new.”
“Like what?”
“That this could not possibly be the work of human hand. That is to say, there might have been someone who awoke other, inhuman, forces that are inhabiting the house. As a matter of fact, I suspect that history even preserved that person’s name for the curious. Of all the former inhabitants of the house, who but the Grand Magician of the Order of Green Moons could have pulled off such a prank? That doesn’t change the fact that you are being harassed by some wretch from another world, though. Pretty exotic, huh?”
“I thought I was the exotic one,” I spluttered. “Well, what does it want from me, anyway?”
“What do you think? Yum-yum!” said Juffin, and let out a bloodthirsty chuckle. “In any case, its intentions are unkind, make no mistake! Why else would residents of the neighborhood be kicking the bucket left and right? Let’s see, what else do we know about the enemy? Judging from last night, I would say that he acts carefully and is choosy. He wouldn’t risk coming up against a serious opponent such as myself. Furthermore, our little friend makes mistakes sometimes, which became quite clear today when he first invaded my dreams and then shamelessly fled. That’s comforting. I do not like getting involved with unmitigated evil—it’s a lot of bother. No matter how you look at it, Sir Max, the information that we have now is simply not enough. So you’re going to have to undergo nightmares for the sake of the cause for another few nights. I’ll shut myself up in the office and oversee your adventures from here. But don’t you even think of going to bed tonight without the protective amulet I was considerate enough to provide you with!”
“You mean that rag?”
“I mean the kerchief of the Grand Magician of the Order of Clandestine Weeds. Your frivolousness is killing me! Without that ‘rag,’ as you so irreverently call it, no one can guarantee that you will ever wake up again. Do you fancy that prospect?”
“Not particularly.