The Studs Lonigan Trilogy - James T. Farrell [387]
He told himself to can it all, and trust to luck. Luck would have to be on his side. With luck, he’d win through. Trying to kid himself again. He yawned. He only wanted to sleep. To get home and fall into bed and forget it. But it wasn’t like a jag, for that could be slept off. In the morning he was going to wake up, and know that it would be back again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I
“Son, I don’t see why you can’t wait,” Mrs. Lonigan said.
“Yes, Bill, isn’t it kind of fast and sudden, you know, getting married on the spur of the moment? Of course, now, don’t think that I don’t like Catherine or don’t want you to marry her. Because we aren’t at all talking on that point. All we are trying to say is that maybe you better not rush into it and act on such a quick decision,” the father said, and Studs commenced to grow nervous and very unsure of himself be-cause he could see, sitting in the parlor and facing his parents, that they were both giving him fishy-eyed looks.
“Well, there’s no particular reason why we shouldn’t,” he said weakly, sparring for time until he could think up better answers.
“Bill, now why don’t you just think it over? Coming so sudden, it will look kind of... kind of... funny. And it gives us such little time to get ready,” Lonigan said.
“We’ve talked it over and made up our minds,” Stud said, bored, not wanting to argue it when all such talk anyway was just a waste of time.
“And how will Catherine’s mother like this, with you taking her only daughter away from her on such short notice, and not giving her any time to make the right preparations for the wedding? It’s not fair to Mrs. Banahan,” Mrs. Lonigan said, still turning suspicious eyes on him.
He couldn’t understand why they kept on hemming and hawing about it. But he was glad for one consolation anyway. There wouldn’t be so damn much trouble about getting things ready for the wedding. Immediately he thought with regret that poor Catherine, she would miss all that fussing. She had, he was sure, like all girls dreamed of the time she would be married as some great special occasion. And now all these dreams of hers for a very romantic wedding were dampened plenty.
“Bill, I want you to promise me something,” the father said in a man-to-man manner.
“Yes,” Studs said, hoping to get this over because he wanted to meet Catherine and go swimming, and thinking also that when it came to anything important about himself, it was just about impossible to make them understand his side of the case, and it had been the same always, so far back as he could remember.
“Bill, I want you to promise me this. To think it over, and see if it isn’t possible to wait at least a few months until the fall, when things will be better, and you’ll then probably have more money and prospects to start on. Maybe by fall we’ll turn the corner of this depression and have a real business pickup. And then I’ll be able to have you working for me every day, and if money loosens up I’ll be able to give you a tidy little sum as a wedding present. In days like these, a young fellow is foolish to get married when he’s not sure of being able to work the next day.”
“Two mouths always cost more to be fed than one,” Mrs. Lonigan said.
“I’ve thought it over,” Studs said, realizing there was nothing much to say to them about it, unless he told the truth, and he couldn’t do that.
Both parents stared wistfully at him. The mother dabbed at her eyes, almost in open tears. She was his mother, and he could see why she should cry like this, and it made him feel kind of rotten. He thought, though, that she’d gotten married herself, hadn’t she, and she and the old man had pitched in to try their luck without any bank to start on.
“I got to be going,” he said, arising, wanting to get out