The Tenth Justice - Brad Meltzer [155]
“Under the circumstances,” Nathan said. “When he gets off the phone, you should call Ober’s parents.”
“I have to call?” Ben asked. “I can’t do that.”
“Oh, yes, you can.” Nathan got out of his seat and headed for the stairs.
“Why me?” Ben asked, following his roommate.
“You’re the one responsible,” Nathan said curtly.
“Don’t you dare say that,” Ben warned.
Nathan turned from the stairs and looked at Ben in disbelief. “You’re not responsible?” he asked, approaching Ben. “Whose fault is it, then?” Nathan stood face-to-face with Ben in the living room. “Is it Ober’s fault? No, it can’t be Ober’s fault. Maybe it’s Rick’s fault. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it’s Senator Stevens’s fault.”
“It’s nobody’s fault,” Ben interrupted.
“So no one’s to blame?” Nathan asked. “This is something that just happened out of the blue?”
“Obviously, it didn’t just happen. And if it weren’t for me, Ober would probably still be alive. But that doesn’t mean I killed him.”
“No, you just put the belt around his neck.”
An angry silence filled the room. “You can really be a bastard, y’know that?”
“I just want to make sure that you—”
“That I what?” Ben interrupted, his eyes filled with tears. “That I blame myself? That I think it’s my fault? Don’t worry—I do. I hold myself one hundred percent responsible. I’m the one that put this whole thing in motion, and it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. Until the day I die, there won’t be a single day that I don’t feel guilty about this.”
“You should feel guilty.”
“Don’t tell me how I should feel,” Ben said, his voice shaking. “Ober was my best friend! I would’ve done anything to save him.”
“You could’ve saved him,” Nathan said. “All you had to do was open your mouth.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ben lashed out. “How can you be so callous? I was going to the authorities! That’s what tonight was all about! I didn’t know Ober’d kill himself! I didn’t know he was suicidal!”
“And I don’t know what you expect me to say. Do you think that just because you admit it’s your fault, I’ll absolve you of your sins? It doesn’t work like that. You killed him. Now you have to deal with it.”
Enraged, Ben punched Nathan in the stomach. “I DIDN’T KILL HIM!”
Bent over in pain, Nathan struggled to catch his breath.
“I DIDN’T KILL HIM,” Ben repeated. “HE KILLED HIMSELF!”
Still heaving, Nathan ran toward Ben, tackling him and sending them both crashing into the coffee table. The homemade table splintered in two, the yearbooks and the scrapbook sliding onto Nathan and Ben.
Sitting on top of Ben, Nathan grabbed him by the shirt. “Why did you let this happen?” he screamed.
Ben pushed Nathan back and staggered to his feet. “I never wanted this to happen!”
“Then why didn’t you—”
“I wish I could’ve done a million things!” Ben yelled.
“You didn’t have to do a million things,” Nathan said. “All you had to do was one.”
“I swear, I was going to turn myself in tomorrow!”
“Who cares what you were going to do?” Nathan screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Ober died tonight! He’s gone, Ben! We’ll never see him again! Because of you, he’s dead! Ober is dead!”
“Nathan, I—”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Nathan said, storming toward the stairs. “Enough of your damn excuses. No matter what you say, I know you killed him. And I hope that thought haunts you forever.”
“I told you already,” Richard Claremont told Rick. “I never touched him. I spent the whole night watching the other three at the Jefferson Memorial.”
“If you’re lying, the police will find you,” Rick warned. “They dusted the entire place for fingerprints.”
“I’m not lying! I didn’t know he killed himself until I got back here.” Taking off his coat, Claremont asked, “And since when are you so concerned about what happens to these guys?”
“I’m not concerned when one of them loses his job, but I am concerned when one of them winds up dead.”
“I don’t know why you’re so shaken by this,” Claremont said, sitting on the plush hotel sofa. “You put them in an impossible scenario—you should’ve expected one of them to snap.”
“I never meant for this