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suggest that he only pretended she existed. Second, my own personal experience with LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide), a drug variously called hallucinogenic, psychotomimetic, or psychedelic,[1] makes the hallucinatory experience somewhat more understandable psychologically. At one point during the time I was under the influence of this drug, the phonograph was on. A woman soloist was singing a hauntingly beautiful melody. I saw the voice lift itself out of the record player; it looked ghostlike and ribbony. I saw it travel across the room toward me; then I felt it pushing its way into my right ear (not my left). And then I heard her singing the rest of the song inside my head. While this was happening, I knew it was a hallucination. But, still, I experienced it! Even though I knew that the reality of this experience would not be supported by social consensus, there was nothing anyone could say or do which would convince me that it was not happening to me. It does not matter whether my experience was produced by an external physical stimulus, nor does it matter whether there are others who agree with me or not. What matters is that I had the experience. I am therefore now inclined to believe that the hallucinations or delusions of psychosis are more than simply matters of pretense or of hyperimagination which a little persuasive logic will prove cannot be so.[2]

From all the preceding considerations it seems safe to assume that Leon was keeping a single, not a double, set of books. From his psychological standpoint he did indeed have a wife—a wife he cared for and who, in turn, cared for him. We knew now that he looked forward to hearing from her and to seeing her. Could we enlist her aid in bringing about changes for the better in Leon? The next chapter describes our efforts in this direction and the developments that then occurred. But first it is necessary to describe some further changes in Leon’s delusions and some totally unforeseen, yet enlightening developments which took place a week after he failed to keep his second appointment with Madame Yeti Woman.

[1]H. A. Abramson (Ed.); The Use of LSD in Psychotherapy (New York: Josiah Macy Foundation; 1960).

[2]There is, of course, at least one major difference between psychotic hallucinations and hallucinations produced under the influence of a drug. In the latter case, the person experiencing them can immediately explain the phenomenon (as I did) as an effect of the drug. In psychotic hallucinations the person experiencing them cannot, of course, attribute them to the influence of a drug. He must seek other explanations—for example, that they are due to “electronic interferences,” “cosmic reality,” etc.

CHAPTER XIII

MADAME GOD MAKES A FEW SUGGESTIONS

ON SEPTEMBER 9, a little over a week after Leon had received the letter from his wife asking him to meet her in the store, we had a private interview with him which indicated that certain changes had already taken place in his delusional system.

—Well, what’s new, R.I.?—

“I know who God Almighty is in human shape. God Almighty is a woman in human shape, and she is my wife.”

—What’s her name?—

“The word ‘God’ is written on her forehead, capital G - O - D, so she’s Madame God, pertaining to the power in her, and she’s also my wife, Ruth, and to me she’s Madame R. I. Dung. God Almighty walks in the shape of a ‘She.’ I accept it as such.”

—Is she related to the Virgin Mary?—

“She happens to be the foster woman of Dr. Blessed Virgin Mary of Nazareth. It means she carried that particular creature as the Virgin Mary, but is no relation.”

—Oh, she was her mother?—

“No, no, no! She’s the foster woman, that’s all. I already mentioned my wife died the death to the placenta so she’s not a blood relative.”

—This is very interesting. When I first met you, you told me that you were married to Madame the Blessed Virgin Mary of Nazareth.—

“At that time, that’s the impression I had but I corrected myself when I found out she is married to a particular ideal, spiritual, light brother of mine.”

—Joseph Gabor?—

“He used to