The Three Musketeers (Translated by Richard Pevear) - Alexandre Dumas [275]
“I had only one desire—to kill myself.
“‘Beware!’ I said to him, ‘for my freedom will be your dishonor! Yes, for no sooner will I leave here than I will tell all, I will tell of the violence you have used against me, I will tell of my captivity. I will denounce this palace of infamy. You are highly placed, Milord, but tremble! Above you there is the king, and above the king there is God.’
“Master of himself as he seemed, my persecutor let show an impulse of anger. I could not see the expression of his face, but I felt the arm on which I had placed my hand tremble.
“‘Then you will not leave here,’ he said.
“‘Good, good!’ I cried. ‘Then the place of my torture will also be my grave. Good! I will die here, and you will see whether an accusing ghost is not more terrible than a threatening person!’
“‘You will be left no weapon.’
“‘There is one that despair puts within reach of every creature who has the courage to use it. I will starve myself to death.”
“‘Come,’ said the scoundrel, ‘isn’t peace better than a war like this? I will give you back your freedom this instant, I will proclaim you a living virtue, I will call you the English Lucretia.’
“‘And I will declare you the Sextus,189 I will denounce you to men as I have already denounced you to God; and if, like Lucretia, I must sign my accusation in my own blood, I will sign it.’
“‘Aha!’ said my enemy in a mocking tone, ‘then that is something else. By heaven, when all is said, you’re well off here, you lack for nothing, and if you starve yourself to death, it will be your own fault.’
“At these words, he withdrew, I heard the door open and close, and I was left a wreck—less in my grief, I confess, than in the shame of not having revenged myself.
“He kept his word to me. All the next day, all the next night went by without my seeing him again. But I also kept my word and did not eat or drink. I was determined, as I had told him, to starve myself to death.
“I spent that day and night in prayer, for I hoped that God would forgive me my suicide.
“On the second night, the door opened. I was lying on the floor; my strength was beginning to abandon me.
“At the noise, I raised myself on one hand.
“‘Well?’ he said in a voice that vibrated in too terrible a way in my ear for me not to recognize it. ‘Well, have we softened a little, and will we buy our freedom with a mere promise of silence? You see, I’m a good prince,’ he added, ‘and though I don’t like the Puritans, I do them justice, as I do their women when they’re pretty. Come, make me a little oath on the cross, I don’t ask any more of you.’
“‘On the cross!’ I cried, getting up, for at that abhorred voice I had recovered all my strength. ‘On the cross I swear that no promise, no threat, no torture will shut my mouth; on the cross I swear to denounce you everywhere as a murderer, as a stealer of honor, as a coward; on the cross I swear that, if ever I get out of here, I will demand revenge on you from the whole human race!’
“‘Take care!’ said the voice, with a menacing tone that I had not heard before. ‘I have a supreme means, which I will use only in the last extremity, of shutting your mouth, or at least of keeping people from believing a single word you say.’
“I gathered all my strength to reply with a burst of laughter.
“He saw that henceforth there was eternal war between us, war to the death.
“‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I give you the rest of tonight and all day tomorrow. Think it over. Promise to be quiet, and wealth, consideration, honors will surround you; threaten to talk, and I condemn you to infamy.’
“‘You?’ I cried. ‘You?’
“‘To eternal, ineffaceable infamy!’
“‘You?’ I repeated. “Oh, I tell you, Felton, I thought he was mad!
“‘Yes, I!’ he replied.
“‘Ah, leave me!’ I said to him. ‘Go, if you don’t want me to smash my head against the wall before your eyes!’
“‘Very well,’ he said, ‘you want it this way. Till tomorrow evening!’
“‘Till tomorrow evening,’ I replied, falling down and chewing the rug with rage.”
Felton