The Traveling Death and Resurrection Show - Ariel Gore [1]
“It is a circus!” Madre yells to the crows perched on the roof of an old hotel. “Six P.M. tonight, the River Theater. Admission by donation. No one turned away!”
A white woman with dreadlocks stumbles out of a corner bar. “I’ll be there,” she promises, waving a tattooed arm before she reaches for the near cement wall to catch her balance.
“This is a show you can’t miss,” Madre cries with renewed enthusiasm. “One night only, ladies and gentlemen. Levitating mystics, saints performing the stigmata, Mary Magdalen flying through the air like grace itself!”
The caravan rolls to a stop in front of a little blue theater under the truss bridge. I’m driving the second hatchback, park it a few yards ahead of the others. No fans await us in handsome gray Astoria, but at least the church protesters aren’t out—the sallow-eyed men and women with their dark crucifixes and homemade picket signs assuring us all eternal damnation. You’d think we were a traveling brigade of abortionists, the reception we get in some towns. It’s just a show, I always want to tell them. Isn’t Satan up to anything real you can get your panties in a wad about? But I stay quiet. I understand their indignation more than I’d like to admit. And sometimes, I swear I can see my grandmother’s face in those crowds. I cross myself silently, then. “It’s just a show,” I whisper to the heavens.
A humble mural covers the side of the theater building, pictures the river itself as a stage. Spotlights hang in the clouds. A few spectators float in black inner tubes, watching a lone performer who stands atop the water like some kind of prophet. A little marquee at the corner of the painting announces our coming:
—Tonight Only—
THE DEATH & RESURRECTION SHOW
I wrestle the baby from his car seat. The straps of his overalls have gotten tangled up in the belt. “C’mon, Manny. Let’s go see your mama.” I prop him on my hip. A few teary raindrops fall on our cheeks as we amble over to join the others.
The theater proprietor stands out on the curb to greet us, a round brunette with eyes the color of the ocean. She holds up Astoria’s Hipfish newspaper like a prized casserole. “We made the cover,” she beams.
And indeed, there we all are in full-color newsprint: Lupe and the baby stand front and center like an image of the Madonna and Child. Hefty Madre Pia in her black-and-white nun dress and model-thin platinum Magdelena, bighearted bigheads, smile like celebrities on either side. Tony, Barbaro, and Paula, shy pillars of our troupe, peer over shoulders. That’s me in the back, slightly elevated, wearing a crown of thorns and too much blush, performing my signature stigmata for our high-blood-pressure publicity shot.
“They’ve been talking about it on the radio,” the proprietor says, bouncing up and down on her toes as she talks, like maybe she’s had a few too many shots of espresso. “We should get a good crowd. A pretty good crowd, anyway.” Bounce, bounce. “This is a small town, but it’ll surprise you.” Bounce, bounce. “People really come out for our shows. You all just get in? You must be hungry.” Nods all around on the hunger question, so she points us in the direction of a restaurant. “It’s on us.” Bounce, bounce. “The saints must eat.”
“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” I say, lifting the baby from my hip and entrusting him to Lupe’s waiting arms. “I’m not hungry.”
Barbaro winks at me, his olive complexion so thirsty for sunlight he almost looks ill. “We will bring for you a doggie bag,” he promises.
Not hungry. I imagine my fellow travelers stomping off to feast on platters of butter-drenched garlic lobster, giant bowls of broccoli with lemon sauce, thick slices of raspberry cheese-cake. “Not hungry,” I whisper to myself like a mantra. Truth told, I’m starving. Willpower, I tell myself. Sometimes life is all about willpower. So I grab my duffel from the trunk and head for the nearest glowing red Vacancy sign to book a few rooms for the night.
The wind off the river is a chill. The Lamplighter