The Traveling Death and Resurrection Show - Ariel Gore [6]
As she lifted her head, I pressed my starvation out through the centers of my palms. I trembled, just a little, as my hunger oozed like blood, perfect red teardrops from my wounds. I held the pose for a long minute, then fell to my knees—half from exhaustion, half for dramatic effect.
“My child!” My grandmother rushed to my side. “My child.” She smelled of rose water and sour sweat. “Dear God, forgive me my doubt.”
A rustling and a clanging from the kitchen. The sound of my own breath as I lay curled on the avocado carpet. The half-cooked potato slices revived me easily, and by evening the cupboards and fridge filled with dried pasta, fresh tomatoes, green olives, gorgonzola cheese, canned peaches.
That night, Nana and I walked arm in arm under the magnolias through the warm autumn darkness to midnight mass, full of love and compassion for Our Lord and God.
As my grandmother knelt in the pew, whispering Hail Mary and mea culpa, I silently made my peace with the lit-glass image of Our Savior on the far-facing wall. “Jesus,” I whispered, “I sure hope you don’t mind me doing the blood trick, but when Nana needs a sign and you’re too busy to give her one, I figure you won’t be angry if I play at being risen. If it makes you angry, Lord, then maybe you can give me a sign—thunder or lightning or something—and I swear I’ll stop doing it right then. But how about let’s say, just between you and me, if you’re silent, that means it’s okay? Maybe you’re even a little bit pleased that I’ve figured out how to bring Nana back to you when she starts to get so sad? I mean, it’s real hard for her down here, Lord. She does believe in you, honest. She’s as faithful as they come. She just needs signs these days. You can understand that, can’t you? It’s been a terrible test for her, you taking back my mom and dad. I know you’re real busy, Lord, but…”
Our Savior hung silent in his stained glass pane and I knew I should confess my trick to Father Michaels, but somehow I knew, too, that I couldn’t, that no good ever came of a child kneeling in a dark confessional and telling the truth. How could I expect Father Michaels to understand that my trick was neither blaspheme nor miracle? I was hungry, that’s all. And a hungry child can make herself bleed, make herself do a lot of things.
Chapter 4
WE WELCOME YOU TO THE REALM OF THE BLESSED
All lights out.
Close your eyes.
Madre Pia’s great booming voice explodes into the black: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void. And darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit moved across the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light!”
A billow of flame bursts from a dark figure stage left.
Madre lifts her large hands and the lights rise, illuminating the strange beauty Saint Paula the Bearded as she begins to sing her low sweet hymn.
Tony’s hypnotic bass line starts so low and builds so slow, his intro is almost over before you realize it’s more than auditory hallucination. He picks up his tenor sax, moves effortlessly into “A Love Supreme.”
Madre continues in a raspy whisper, telling how God separated the light from the darkness, the firmament from the earth, the waters from the waters; how God created all the living things, plants yielding seeds and trees bearing luscious fruits, birds flying upward to the heavens, great sea monsters and fish, creeping things and cattle. “But, alas,” Madre hums as Tony wraps the intro of his jazz suite, “even with all of these living things, God felt lonely. The green plants thrived in the moist earth, the birds danced across the sky, and the stars sang in the firmament; the creatures of the water swam in great schools, and the creeping things prowled across fertile and arid lands, contented. But for all these grand theatrics, where was the audience? God prayed for company, for spectators and fellow storytellers, and there was evening and morning and lo! God had an idea. Let us make human beings, in our image, after our likeness. So God created us, male and female God created