The Treasure_ A Novel - Iris Johansen [104]
“Not a bad thing in a man who took vows of abstinence.”
“He should respect—” She inhaled sharply as his thumb touched the hollow of her throat.
“I feel your heartbeat,” he said thickly. “But I can feel it more when I’m inside you. It’s as if your whole body comes alive and closes around me. Tight and smooth as—” He closed his eyes and his lips tightened with strain. “God, I didn’t mean to touch you. I don’t know if I can stop.”
Of course he’d meant to touch her, and stopping was out of the question. She stepped closer. “You don’t need to—I promised that if you—”
“No.” His eyes opened and he drew a deep breath. “No, Selene. No ifs. No bargains. No promises.” His hand fell away from her and he stepped back. “No excuses why we should come together. When we make love, it has to be because that’s what you need, what you want, and because you realize that it can’t be any other way.”
She stared at him in bewilderment. “What do you mean? You’re the one who offered the bargain.”
“Because it was the only way I saw that I could protect you.”
“You said you wanted a child.”
“I do, but I wouldn’t bargain for it.”
“You lied to me?”
“You’re raising walls again. Don’t do it, dammit. Don’t hide from me. I don’t know why you’ve always thought you had to protect yourself against me. I understood that when you were a child, but you’re a woman now. Trust me. Belong to me. Let me belong to you. Yes, I lied. I’d do it again if I thought it would help you. I’d do anything to keep you safe and with me.” His lips twisted. “I’ve grown accustomed to taking things and molding them to suit myself. I’ll probably not be able to stop. But this is one time when I have to try to step back and let you choose.” He gazed directly into her eyes. “I’ll give you Nasim no matter what you do. Take me. Reject me. It doesn’t matter. I never intended to do anything else. I’d have gone after him even if you begged me not to. Do you think I’d allow him to walk the earth after what he did to you and Haroun?” He turned and moved toward the door. “So think well. You have no bargain, no excuse. This is the last time I’ll come to you. If you come to me, it will be because you accept what I am and what you are and that we have to be together.”
He was leaving, she realized through the haze of bewilderment surrounding her. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere far away from you and this villa.”
The door slammed behind him.
God, what an idiot.
Kadar strode quickly down the hall, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.
Fool.
She had been willing. There would have been no coercion.
But what of next time? There was more at stake than a night’s rutting.
That silky blue gown, clinging to her breasts, revealing the softness of her shoulders.
Stop thinking of her. He was already heavy and hurting.
Would it have harmed anything to have bedded her tonight? So there would not have been honesty between them. He would have been inside her and feeling the heated friction that—
“Where are you going? Why aren’t you with Selene?”
He turned to see Layla standing at the door. All he needed was to have to suffer through explanations to her, he thought in exasperation.
He didn’t answer as he ran down the steps.
He had left her.
Selene crossed her arms over her chest to still their trembling. He was gone.
Well, good riddance. He had lied to her and—
But hadn’t she also lied to herself? Who had been the most at fault?
Excuses. Lies.
“What happened? I saw Kadar leaving the villa.” Layla swept into the room without knocking. “I knew you wouldn’t send him away unless he did something—You look like a sick cow.”
Selene shook her head. She couldn’t deal with Layla right now. “He didn’t do anything.”
“I don’t believe it,” Layla said flatly.
“I don’t care what you believe. Will you leave me?”
Layla frowned. “You’re right, it’s none of my concern. I just wondered if he’d said anything about—I’ll leave you.” She didn’t move. “But if you want him back, I could send someone to—”
“I don’t want him back.” She did want