The Treasure_ A Novel - Iris Johansen [26]
“But you didn’t want more. You left here.”
“Because I didn’t want to be like Nasim. I could see myself being drawn deeper and deeper. . . . Life has never treated me with any particular kindness, and I liked the idea of the power Sinan and Nasim wielded.”
“Nasim is evil.”
“Yes, but then, so am I. Most men have a wicked streak.”
“You’re not evil. You may be witless and unfair, but you’re not like him.”
“Part of me is. But I can control it, if I have reason to fight him.” His gaze shifted from the fire to stare directly into her eyes. “You give me reason, Selene.”
His dark hair shimmered in the firelight, and his eyes . . .
Dear God, she was melting. She wanted to reach out and touch him.
She would not be drawn like this. She would not be hurt again.
She tore her gaze away. “Then find another reason. I won’t be responsible for your virtue or lack of it.”
“You can’t help yourself.” He smiled. “Why else am I here suffering grievous wounds? You don’t trust me enough to let me out of your sight.”
“I can help myself. I just choose to—Haroun and I have no one else in this horrible place. It’s only sensible to—Don’t laugh at me.” She threw the gown at his head.
“Ouch.” He pulled the gown from around his face and gingerly touched the scratch on his cheek. “You could have removed the pins.”
“Go away. Go to that hideous old man and walk your dark path. What do I care? I don’t want to see you—”
He was heading for the door. Panic raced through her.
“Wait.” She struggled for words. “You cannot leave with this gown half finished. I won’t—”
“Shh.” He smiled at her, his warm, beautiful smile. “I’m not going to Nasim. I’m going to take a walk in the courtyard. I’ll return before the hour has gone.”
She tried to hide her relief. “It’s nothing to me where you go.”
“My God, you’re stubborn.” He sighed. “Sometimes I wish you were not quite as strong as you are. It would make my lot much easier.”
She didn’t feel strong. She was shaken. He had never spoken to her of his past and his struggles before. Seeing beyond that cool, mocking facade made him seem infinitely closer. She didn’t want him closer. “If you’re going for a walk, do it.” She snatched up the gown again and began to stitch. “Don’t come back tonight. I won’t have you waking me up.”
The night was clear and cool, and a full moon cast a silver luminescence on the gray stones of the courtyard. It was the kind of night Kadar had hated when he had been in training here. It was difficult to move with the deadly invisibility Nasim required on such an evening, and failure was met with swift and brutal punishment. But he had learned; moonlight merely meant adjustments, distractions, and a—
“So she released you from woman’s duties?”
Kadar turned to see Nasim coming toward him. “I released myself.” He wasn’t surprised Nasim knew what transpired behind a closed chamber door. Nasim made it his business to be aware of everything that happened. “I felt in need of air.”
“Why do you let her dishonor you in this way?”
“To learn a new skill is never a dishonor. It may be useful later.”
“You wish to make more gowns for women?” Nasim asked contemptuously as he fell into step with him.
“No, but sewing a gown requires the same skill as stitching a wound.” He glanced at Nasim. “What do you want?”
“Perhaps I also need air.”
“Then you would go to the battlements, as you usually do. I’d wager you saw me down here and decided to join me. Why?”
“I feel you’re wasting my time,” he said bluntly. “You’re here to do me service and you spend your time with that woman, stitching.”
“We’ll discuss service when your messenger arrives. Have you heard from him?”
“No, but we’ll discuss service now. I want your promise.”
Kadar shook his head.
“You’ll give me the service you promised Sinan, and for the same reason.” Nasim smiled maliciously. “If you don’t, you’ll find your friends in Scotland most uncomfortable. I’ll have to decide whether to raze