The Treasure_ A Novel - Iris Johansen [86]
“You’re being very reasonable,” he murmured as he fell into step with her. “It doesn’t bode well.”
“I don’t feel reasonable.” She didn’t look at him. “Are you going to help me?”
“I haven’t decided. It’s a very dangerous course you’ve chosen.”
Shock rippled through her. Tarik and Layla’s help had never been certain, but she had never doubted she could count on Kadar, whether he approved or not. “It’s the right thing to do.”
“As I said, I haven’t decided. I’ll have to think upon it.”
They had reached her door and she whirled to face him. “You’re different tonight.”
He smiled. “Am I? Perhaps you’re just seeing me clearer. I don’t believe anyone else would see a difference.”
No, but he had never been with her as he had with the rest of the world. He had shown everyone else that mockery, the darkness, the deadliness just beneath the surface. He had never turned that face to her.
Until tonight.
“Why are you like this?”
“You think I should be gentle with you? You don’t want my gentleness. You want the same thing from me the rest of the world wants. A man to be killed, a task to be done.” He bowed. “So I must treat you as I do everyone else and weigh the advantages and the consequences of giving you what you want.” He opened her door. “I bid you good night. Sleep well, Selene.”
“I didn’t mean to—” She stopped. What could she say? She did need him, and she planned to use him, as he had said. No wonder she had distanced him. “I mean you no harm. I don’t want you to kill Nasim. I only want you to show me how to do it.”
He didn’t answer. He was walking away.
Don’t think of the hurt you must have dealt to turn him into this stranger. Think of Haroun. Think of Nasim.
Think of the act to be done.
“THEY DON’T BELIEVE US,” Layla said.
“We didn’t expect them to.” Tarik moved over to the balustrade to gaze into the garden. “It’s a wild tale.”
“Yes.” She stood beside him. “I’m not sure Kadar was a good choice. He likes his way too much.”
“And you do not?”
She grimaced. “I like it, but I seldom got it. Not with you.”
“As I remember, I told you no only once.”
But it had been the most important plea, when she had asked him to stay. “But there were always arguments.” She braced herself. “Why did you wed her?”
“Rosa? She was kind. I was lonely.”
“I was lonely too. I never took a husband to ease it.”
“I don’t wish to discuss Rosa.”
“Neither do I. I only wondered.” Her gaze traveled around the trees and flowers of the moonlit garden, the clear serenity of the rectangular pool. “This is pleasant. It reminds me a little of our house in Greece. Is that why you bought it?”
“No. I bought it because I was weary of living in walled fortresses.”
“I never walled myself away from the world. You didn’t have to do it either.”
“You sent me the grail.”
“But you created the chains yourself. When you treat a treasure as if it’s not a treasure, you attract less curiosity. I would have rubbed some mud on it, tossed it in my saddlebag, and forgotten about it.”
“No, you wouldn’t. It guides your life.”
“It guides both our lives. That doesn’t mean it has to be everything. We have to live our lives with joy.”
His gaze rested on her face. “And have these years been joyful for you, Layla?”
She looked away from him. “There have been moments of joy.”
“It must have been painful for you to learn that Selene was with child.”
“Do you think me so petty? I was glad for her. I wanted her to have what I could not.” She turned to face him. “And I also wanted to see Nasim dead for what he did. I tried to soothe and say all the fine, wise things, but I know how she feels.”
“Layla.” His hand reached and hovered near her shoulder.
She held her breath.
His hand fell away without touching her.
She mustn’t let him see the pain. She smiled with an effort. “But, as usual, we must forget what we feel and protect the grail. It may be more difficult